Jason left a nice comment on my column post below. Here's my reply:

thanks, J.

the conundrum for me is that when i try to manage these things without 'knowing Christ' in a pretty fundamental way i inevitably get off into the wrong thing - pride over better economic values while not-so-secretly wanting more money and more stuff - the virtuous anger of the 'deprived', judgmentalism about parenting, harsh questions about 'well, why do they have to be so thin? they must have issues, too!' or it's just natural for them. slim chance there's any actual God-inspired self control there.

i think you're right, that the people whose opinions we care about often can respond to this stuff pretty well.

but, again, i don't tend to approach growing that relationship lovingly unless i'm connected to Jesus. Paul said 'speak the truth in love'. i'm tempted to speak the truth in judgment or to hold back the truth in accepting/tolerant permissiveness (which isn't really love). it's not truth without love, and it's not love without truth. but, dang, that's hard, and i don't get to it without the Spirit working in my life.

(note: i'm using 'knowing Jesus', being connected to Jesus (like the branches to the Vine in John 15), and the indwelling Spirit cf Galatians 5.13ff) as different terms for a basically equivalent state. i obviously think this is what's happening in the Scriptures)