What's your favorite deep thought (via BGM on MetaFilter)? Mine:

If you ever fall off the Sears Tower, just go real limp, because maybe you'll look like a dummy and people will try to catch you because, hey, free dummy.

One thing kids like is to be tricked. For instance, I was going to take my little nephew to DisneyLand, but instead I drove him to an old burned-out warehouse. "Oh, no," I said, "DisneyLand burned down." He cried and cried, but I think that deep down he thought it was a pretty good joke. I started to drive over to the real DisneyLand, but it was getting pretty late.

If you were a cowboy, and you were pulling some guy behind your horse by a rope, and you looked back and he was reading a magazine, I bet you'd be pretty mad.