interact

2012 Annual Loot List

2012-01-19T19:09:00.000-05:00

Here are most (all?) of the gifts I got for Christmas and my birthday this year. Christine, as always, is the MVP for buying and liaising with other buyers ;-). My mom and sister also do a very nice job. No men are MVPs ;-)

Ministries of Mercy, Tim Keller
The Meaning of Marriage, Tim and Kathy Keller
Bonhoeffer: Pastor, Martyr, Prophet, Spy, Eric Metaxas
The Daily Message (audiobook), Eugene Peterson
The Cross and the Prodigal, Kenneth Bailey
Droid X bedside dock/charging station
Coupon books from the twins
New basketball (a little early)
Wartburg soccer shirt (a little early ;-)
New shin guards
Adidas 'slide' sandals
1 package of York Peppermint Patties
Armband case for Droid X
Amazon gift cards

Foreign aid analysis from the Center for American Progress

2012-01-18T00:39:00.000-05:00

Interactive Map: Foreign Aid Analysis Made Easy
Saw this linked on Facebook by Cody Postier.

Liberal think tank, so I'm guessing they're against all of the >$1B foreign military aid and for most of the other kinds of aid :-)

What are the big dollar items?

$2.62B total funding to Afghanistan
$2.22B military funding to Israel
$1.45B total funding to Pakistan (I include all funding here since most of this aid is a product of the war in Afghanistan)
$1.04B military funding to Egypt

Total of these items: $7.29B

How would you change this? Go back in your time machine and never attack Afghanistan? Cut all military foreign aid? If we did something like that, some American jobs would be lost at Lockheed Martin, Boeing, Northrop Grumman, General Dynamics, Raytheon, Rockwell Collins et al. Some Congresspeople would go berserk.

Stipulated: Adequate defense prevents aggression.

But we're way beyond that. And to what degree are the industrial nations of the world arming the other nations of the world against one another in a proliferating way?

There are no easy answers, of course.

Will the real Margaret Thatcher please stand up?

2012-01-16T11:13:00.000-05:00

Oddly enough, one of my biggest windows into Thatcher's Britain has been liberal English comic book authors. Warren Ellis and Alan Moore, neither of them particularly 'balanced', portray Thatcher as unhinged. In Moore's 'V for Vendetta' we get his obvious projection: Britain is on the slippery slope to fascism. (My take: 'V' was often artistically excellent but not prophetic at all.)

So I'm interested in some of the commentary emerging around the new Thatcher movie with Meryl Streep. That's why I clicked through to this post: If the real Margaret Thatcher had been like Meryl Streep's Iron Lady, I wouldn't have supported her.

Then I skimmed the Wikipedia article.

How about you? What do you think of Margaret Thatcher?

Opinions from Brits who lived through her administration will be particularly valued :-)

Christmas Music Extravaganza

2011-12-15T11:06:00.001-05:00

I'm not 100% sure why I'm enjoying Spotify so much. There are a number of things I don't like about it, and the top one is having to install a desktop application. However, that's a post for a different time.

I set myself the goal of coming up with the Best Xmas Playlist Ever. But I couldn't do it. After working on it off and on for a couple weeks, I've created six playlists so far.

One more editorial precursor: I've been really happy with the selection of Xmas albums available on Spotify. There were quite a few I'd been wanting to listen to or buy and I've found many more worth listening to.

The Best Xmas Playlist Ever is really more of a goal than a fact. And the parameters are pretty confined. I've tried to pick stuff my friends would want to hear. I have tried not to over-represent any one album or artist (this resulted in playlist two, below). This playlist is semi-serious and tends to refer to Jesus in some way.

If you're interested, here's how you should use it: I doubt many people will be interested in listening straight through. Pick a song or artist you think you might like. If you like the song and want to hear more, click over to the album or albums.

The second playlist is Merry Sufjan Christmas!, only selections from Sufjan Stevens' five-volume (though they're basically EP-length) Songs for Christmas. This remains my favorite Xmas album (I think this is the fourth year running). I've narrowed it down to 27 tracks that Spotify says run for one hour. I hope you'll give Sufjan a try if you haven't yet. If you like these selections, you should listen to the whole album. (Important note: If you don't normally like Sufjan's music, we have that in common. I love his Xmas music, but basically don't listen to anything else of his.)

I think my favorite thing about Sufjan's Xmas songs is he seems to come from a real place of reverence for the faith and tradition. From that point of departure, he does standards but also cheesy originals and downright depressive commentaries (especially the epic 'That was the worst Christmas ever').

Third: no comprehensive collection of Christmas music would be complete for me without Fun, Silly Xmas/Winter Songs. They just didn't fit, for me, in the main, relating-to-Jesus list.

Finally, a couple of outliers. Best Xmas Rejects/non-Spotify is a list of songs that didn't fit in the lists above or aren't available on Spotify so I can only listen to them through the Spotify app on my computer. Some good songs here, some I wanted to just keep track of, one amazingly cheesy song from my childhood: stuff like that.

Favorite New Christmas Songs is short: my four favorite songs I heard for the first time this year. Jars of Clay's 'O, Little Town of Bethlehem' is my favorite single this year off of my favorite new-to-me Xmas album of the year. Low is a 'slowcore' band I've been enjoying. Shawn Colvin's 'Little Road to Bethlehem' is sweet. And how did I live this many years without hearing Jackson Browne's Rebel Jesus? Jackson and I would disagree pretty quickly about Jesus, but he's got some nice critique of the excesses of the season and a good, strong point about Jesus' concern for the poor.

And then I started Classic Carols last night and it only includes one album so far and is a total work in progress.

If you've read this far you must: a) really love me (hi, Christine! :-) or b) have some similar geeky music bordering-on-OCD characteristics. I conceive of projects like this, then want to be comprehensive, and usually give up. In this case, it ballooned into something I'm sure beyond the interest of my audience. But there you have it.

Merry Christmas!

Comparing America's politics to Alice's Wonderland

2011-11-12T14:57:00.001-05:00

My friend, Carol, sent me this article, and I thought it was really good, so I'm reposting it, along with my comments to her.

American Wonderland, by Morton Keller
From global warming to the Tea Party, our political landscape is patently absurd.

Although Morton Keller seems to come more from the right, probably a Libertarian standpoint, he has lots of good observations and criticisms. Furthermore, I think the comparisons with Alice in Wonderland are interesting and effective. Here are some of my thoughts:

In sum, we have convinced ourselves that in theory we are engaged citizens, while in fact most of us are the self-family-sports-media-obsessed folk that polling tells us we are. But not all of us, all the time. A substantial number of Americans claim some identity with regard to public life. A fifth of us are ready to say we are liberals; close to twice as many identify themselves as conservatives.

exactly.

There is as well a political class that has career self-interests, or a cultural (or psychological) inclination to be steadily engaged in public affairs. Many are drawn by self-interest and by the sheer excitement of the political game. Others enjoy the ample outlet for commitment to causes that politics, as compared to much of the rest of contemporary society, provides.

while both of these paragraphs are a good start, they (understandably) don't take sin into account. so, in reality, the problems are even stronger than the proclivities that are implied here.

+ Power corrupts and absolute power corrupts absolutely.
+ Power attracts the corruptible (this version from Frank Herbert of Dune fame). I almost always think of this version when I think of our politicians.

i know political demonization is older than the Republic, but i still hate it. the Founding Fathers themselves treated one another unconscionably.

but wasn't there a time, say most of the 20th century, when, even if i didn't vote for him, he was still my president?

again: i think our biggest problem is not political polarization but self-absorption and lack of civic involvement.

further, part of my concern with political polarization and its rhetoric (and this is has probably also always been true) is that too few Americans think about it critically and don't know the difference between 'entertainment' and fact. if Rush or Rachel says it, and it sound ok and fits into their worldview, they accept it uncritically.

and this dynamic, along with the others mentioned here, is probably worse with our 24-hour newscycle, talk radio and tv, and that cesspool of ignorant self-expression, the Internet ;-)

A proper concern for excessive government coexists with excesses such as former Colorado Congressman Tom Tancredo’s observation that “People who could not spell the word vote or say it in English put a committed Socialist ideologue in the White House.”

this kind of thing exactly typifies the problem i have with at least some of the Tea Party. and isn't it racist? i repeat my criticism from 3 years ago: if someone can exaggerate and say Obama is a committed socialist, couldn't we also say Bush was a committed fascist? my point: both have about the same grounding in reality.

Tim Keller addressing 9/11

2011-11-09T19:44:00.000-05:00

I have come across two Keller items recently that I wish I had known about two months ago for the tenth anniversary of the 9/11/2001 attacks.

The first is an mp3 of most of Redeemer's first worship service after the attacks, as Manhattanites were trying to cope and process. This mp3 includes most of the service, including scripture readings, prayers and music in addition to Tim's sermon, 'Truth, Tears, Anger and Grace'.

The second item is the full text of a brief talk Tim gave at a five-year memorial service. In the form found over at Reformissionary, it includes a brief introduction by Tim's son, Michael. I reproduce both pieces in full below.

Michael Keller has provided a transcribed version of Tim Keller's "Sermon of Remembrance and Peace for 9-11 Victim's Families", given on September 10th, 2006. It's a "must read," and I've included the full text below as well. The White House transcribed it and sent it to the Keller's because Bush (who was present) asked Karl Rove for a written copy.

Michael's intro to the sermon...

Below is a sermon that particularly resonates with me on multiple levels. First, it is a sermon delivered by dad to 9/11 victims’ families and national dignitaries (Bush, H. Clinton, Bloomberg, Pataki, Giuliani, etc) about suffering and what they can do with their very personal suffering that still exists. It impacted me because I saw concisely in the sermon the power the resurrection has to those suffering. Secondly, it was a sermon given at an interfaith memorial (8 min long) and therefore as a student currently studying presentation to multiple audiences, I was impacted at both the kindness he had towards the “resources” of other faiths, but also the honesty and clarify that he still spoke from his own convictions. This is the way, to affirm others, and still not lose the distinct Gospel voice that we deem as so powerful in today’s society. Lastly, it impacted me because while many others would have used the pulpit in front of so many political figures to espouse either their own political views, or some well meaning, yet hopelessly ill-timed, alter call type message- dad focused on those suffering and in pain and tried to speak to them in their loss of their loved ones with the message that there is a God, the God, who knows exactly what it feels like and can therefore relate to them in their pain. Way to go dad.

Below is the transcribed version of the sermon done by individuals at the White House who also apparently liked it.

-Michael
Here's the full sermon text...
SERVICE OF REMEMBRANCE AND PEACE
FOR 9-11 VICTIMS’ FAMILIES
Ground Zero/St Paul’s Chapel Tim Keller
Sep 10, 2006

As a minister, of course, I’ve spent countless hours with people who are struggling and wrestling with the biggest question - the WHY question in the face of relentless tragedies and injustices. And like all ministers or any spiritual guides of any sort, I scramble to try to say something to respond and I always come away feeling inadequate and that’s not going to be any different today. But we can’t shrink from the task of responding to that question. Because the very best way to honor the memories of the ones we’ve lost and love is to live confident, productive lives. And the only way to do that is to actually be able to face that question. We have to have the strength to face a world filled with constant devastation and loss. So where do we get that strength? How do we deal with that question? I would like to propose that, though we won’t get all of what we need, we may get some of what we need 3 ways: by recognizing the problem for what it is, and then by grasping both an empowering hint from the past and an empowering hope from the future.
First, we have to recognize that the problem of tragedy, injustice and suffering is a problem for everyone no matter what their beliefs are. Now, if you believe in God and for the first time experience or see horrendous evil, you rightly believe that that is a problem for your belief in God, and you’re right – and you say, “How could a good and powerful God allow something like this to happen?”
But it’s a mistake (though a very understandable mistake) to think that if you abandon your belief in God it somehow is going to make the problem easier to handle. Dr Martin Luther King, Jr., in his Letter from Birmingham Jail says that if there was no higher divine Law, there would be no way to tell if a particular human law was unjust or not. So think. If there is no God or higher divine Law and the material universe is all there is, then violence is perfectly natural—the strong eating the weak! And yet somehow, we still feel this isn’t the way things ought to be. Why not? Now I’m not going to get philosophical at a time like this. I’m just trying to make the point that the problem of injustice and suffering is a problem for belief in God but it is also a problem for disbelief in God---for any set of beliefs. So abandoning belief in God does not really help in the face of it. OK, then what will?
Second, I believe we need to grasp an empowering hint from the past. Now at this point, I’d like to freely acknowledge that every faith - and we are an interfaith gathering today – every faith has great resources for dealing with suffering and injustice in the world. But as a Christian minister I know my own faith’s resources the best, so let me simply share with you what I’ve got. When people ask the big question, “Why would God allow this or that to happen?” There are almost always two answers. The one answer is: Don’t question God! He has reasons beyond your finite little mind. And therefore, just accept everything. Don’t question. The other answer is: I don’t know what God’s up to – I have no idea at all about why these things are happening. There’s no way to make any sense of it at all. Now I’d like to respectfully suggest the first of these answers is too hard and the second is too weak. The second is too weak because, though of course we don’t have the full answer, we do have an idea, an incredibly powerful idea.
One of the great themes of the Hebrew Scriptures is that God identifies with the suffering. There are all these great texts that say things like this: If you oppress the poor, you oppress to me. I am a husband to the widow. I am father to the fatherless. I think the texts are saying God binds up his heart so closely with suffering people that he interprets any move against them as a move against him. This is powerful stuff! But Christianity says he goes even beyond that. Christians believe that in Jesus, God’s son, divinity became vulnerable to and involved in - suffering and death! He didn’t come as a general or emperor. He came as a carpenter. He was born in a manger, no room in the inn.
But it is on the Cross that we see the ultimate wonder. On the cross we sufferers finally see, to our shock that God now knows too what it is to lose a loved one in an unjust attack. And so you see what this means? John Stott puts it this way. John Stott wrote: “I could never myself believe in God if it were not for the Cross. In the real world of pain, how could one worship a God who was immune to it?” Do you see what this means? Yes, we don’t know the reason God allows evil and suffering to continue, but we know what the reason isn’t, what it can’t be. It can’t be that he doesn’t love us! It can’t be that he doesn’t care. God so loved us and hates suffering that he was willing to come down and get involved in it. And therefore the Cross is an incredibly empowering hint. Ok, it’s only a hint, but if you grasp it, it can transform you. It can give you strength.
And lastly, we have to grasp an empowering hope for the future. In both the Hebrew Scriptures and even more explicitly in the Christian Scriptures we have the promise of resurrection. In Daniel 12:2-3 we read: Multitudes who sleep in the dust of the earth will awake….[They]… will shine like the brightness of the heavens, and…like the stars for ever and ever. And in John 11 we hear Jesus say: I am the resurrection and the life! Now this is what the claim is: That God is not preparing for us merely some ethereal, abstract spiritual existence that is just a kind of compensation for the life we lost. Resurrection means the restoration to us of the life we lost. New heavens and new earth means this body, this world! Our bodies, our homes, our loved ones—restored, returned, perfected and beautified! Given back to us!
In the year after 9-11 I was diagnosed with cancer, and I was treated successfully. But during that whole time I read about the future resurrection and that was my real medicine. In the last book of The Lord of the Rings, Sam Gamgee wakes up, thinking everything is lost and discovering instead that all his friends were around him, he cries out: "Gandalf! I thought you were dead! But then I thought I was dead! Is everything sad going to come untrue?"
The answer is YES. And the answer of the Bible is YES. If the resurrection is true, then the answer is yes. Everything sad is going TO COME UNTRUE.
Oh, I know many of you are saying, “I wish I could believe that.” And guess what? This idea is so potent that you can go forward with that. To even want the resurrection, to love the idea of the resurrection, long for the promise of the resurrection even though you are unsure of it, is strengthening. I John 3:2-3. Beloved, now we are children of God and what we will be has not yet been made known. But we know that when he appears we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is. All who have this hope purify themselves as he is pure.” Even to have a hope in this is purifying.
Listen to how Dostoevsky puts it in Brothers Karamazov: “I believe like a child that suffering will be healed and made up for, that all the humiliating absurdity of human contradictions will vanish like a pitiful mirage, like the despicable fabrication of the impotent and infinitely small Euclidean mind of man, that in the world’s finale, at the moment of eternal harmony, something so precious will come to pass that it will suffice for all hearts, for the comforting of all resentments, of the atonement of all the crimes of humanity, of all the blood that they’ve shed; and it will make it not only possible to forgive but to justify what has happened.”
That is strong and that last sentence is particularly strong…but if the resurrection is true, it’s absolutely right. Amen.

Keller: The Meaning of Marriage

2011-11-09T19:09:00.000-05:00

Tim and Kathy Keller's new book, The Meaning of Marriage is out. I look forward to reading it

Nice, long interview (about an hour) with Tim and Kathy for the release last week of their new book. Some great principial and practical stuff in here.

Also, Redeemer has one free sermon to listen to all the time on their main sermon page in addition to the 150 free sermons they always have. The current freebie is a lecture Tim and Kathy gave on marriage on April 1, 2005 (no joke! ;-). This one is even a little more practical and well-worth listening to.

Happy Reformation Day

2011-11-01T19:11:00.000-04:00

494 years ago on Monday, Martin Luther nailed his 95 theses to the door of the Castle Church of Wittenberg.

The Ninety-Five Theses

The first thesis is:

1. When our Lord and Master, Jesus Christ, said "Repent", He called for the entire life of believers to be one of repentance.

Or, to phrase as I've heard Tim Keller do, 'All of life is repentance.'

Repentance, as Luther taught, is not a not a 'once and for all' kind of thing. Repentance is necessary daily, sometimes constantly, like every five minutes.

Repentance should be considered in a semantic domain with concepts like confession, humility and submission.

For your listening enjoyment, there are 3 different versions of 'A Mighty Fortress' performed by us, The Wartburg Choir, in 1990, the first three tracks of this album: A Mighty Fortress is Our God (and a bonus 4th track with Psalm 46 as the text).

Here is a straightforward translation of the 95 Theses, with no ads.

Whoa:

40. A truly contrite sinner seeks out, and loves to pay, the penalties of his sins; whereas the very multitude of indulgences dulls men's consciences, and tends to make them hate the penalties.

My old Blogger profile

2011-10-25T10:00:00.002-04:00

Just saving it here before I switch to the Google+ profile on blogger. Not much to see ;-)

Amazon Wishlist:
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/registry/33RII8C59UV9H

Interests:
Christianity, Tolkien, fantasy, science fiction, politics, technology, culture, the internet, sports, fantasy football, music, movies, economics, military issues, games, etc.

About me:
writing about all sorts of stuff that is interesting to me, from tech to politics, pop culture to philosophy, faith to football, Tom Barnett to Tolkien

Favorite movies:
The Hunt for Red October, The Lord of the Rings, Gattaca, Pride and Prejudice

Favorite music:
REM, Bill Mallonee, Linkin Park, Smashing Pumpkins

Favorite books:
The Lord of the Rings, Disappointment with God

Note: some of these inclusions and exclusions seems a little random. If I were editing I would change them, but here's a strange little time capsule :-)

Keller's Beholding the Love of God

2011-10-12T19:19:00.000-04:00

1 John 3:1-3

See how very much our Father loves us, for he calls us his children, and that is what we are! But the people who belong to this world don’t recognize that we are God’s children because they don’t know him. Dear friends, we are already God’s children, but he has not yet shown us what we will be like when Christ appears. But we do know that we will be like him, for we will see him as he really is. And all who have this eager expectation will keep themselves pure, just as he is pure.

Beholding the Love of God

Eusebius story of John chasing down lapsed convert
young man ran away though armed
'I'll gladly suffer death for you.'
where do you get this kind of courage?
from knowing God. from fellowship with God.
must be born again
John begins to emote here. 'Behold!'
'lavished'
to make a present, bestow
we are adopted -- called
and we are -- made, nature, born again

1. way to know God
personal experience
John demonstrates in this passage
truth overflows mind
beyond knowing to 'seeing'
truth goes through you like lightning through a lightning rod
movement from analysis to intuition
truth moves from something you understand to something you stand under
overshadows
moves from detachment to connections
seems ancient and fresh at the same time
moves from mind to heart
moves from mere knowing to beholding
in the 60s: experience has to be anti- or a-rational
-pathway is still through truth, but it's more than truth
Thomas Goodwin
boy walking with father
knows he's a son
father picks up boy, hugs and kisses, 'i love you'
no new knowledge
knowledge becomes new, fresh
knowing God means feeling His embrace
examples of 'radioactive' idea
every great story is two stories
we will fly (like Peter Pan)
there is a Prince Who will kiss us and wake us from sleep to new life
a Beauty will love us and transform us from beasts
there is a Superman from another planet who comes to save us
time in Philadelphia
Xian record, Is 53 'the results of His suffering he shall see and be satisfied'
we are the results of His suffering that satisfies Him
can't program it. can't plan it.
you have to seek it. you have to know it's posssible.
go back into 1Jn2: if you're not experiencing God:
1. are you obeying God? is your conscience clear?
2. do you have fellowship with other Xians?
3. study the Truth, ask God to open it up
2. the mark of knowing God
you see God's love for you as a miracle
Gk idiom: from what country?
'Behold what country this love comes from'
from what planet? unreal?
Fisher King illustration
'are you real?'
a real Xian is a person who says 'it is an absolute miracle that God loves me. it's a miracle that i'm a Xian'
there are two kinds of people who go to church: religious people and real Xians
real Xians see everything as a gift. we're totally in debt to God.
religious people work hard, try, make an effort, go to Bible studies, 'just say no'
deny themselves trying to put God in their debt
trying to save God through their good works, think God is in their debt b/c they've tried so hard
Xians have a spirit of wonder: how miraculous. how unreal. me a Xian? incredible! unbelieveable!
religious person: of course i'm a Xian. sure i'm a Xian. i've always been a Xian.
if you're a Xian, there's no 'sure'ness about it. there's no 'of course'ness about it.
acid test: spirit of wonder, even when things go bad.
a moralist says: what good is all my religion. i tried hard. God owes me.
a Xian says: it's amazing how good God is to me. i deserve much worse.
it's all grace. every good thing is mercy

to the degree that we experience and behold God's love, we'll be able to handle 'bad' circumstances.
'my Father must have a purpose here b/c He loves me'. He doesn't owe me a good life.
and you're amazed by good things
if you've lost it you're slipping back into moralism
'Amazing love, how can it be, that You, my God, would die for me'

Wil's first program

2011-09-13T19:00:00.000-04:00

As noted here, Wil started a little programming on Saturday.

RFI: I told Wil I wrote a BASIC program before I was his age to randomly generate D&D characteristics. He wants to start tomorrow. Start him on BASIC or something else like Javascript (which I have only the slightest familiarity with)?

I decided to go with Small Basic because of the simplicity and because I was confident I could help him quickly and we could get the program up and running.

He really enjoyed it and spent a lot of time on it. Instead of working on the S&D characteristic generator, he spent most of his time on this Tron-inspired dialogue:

TextWindow.WriteLine("Hello Wil")
TextWindow.Write("Enter your Answer: ")
answer = TextWindow.Read()
If (answer = "Hello computer.") Then
TextWindow.WriteLine("Shall we begin?")
Else
TextWindow.WriteLine("Sorry Sir?")
EndIf

TextWindow.WriteLine("Enter your Response: ")
response = TextWindow.Read()
If (response = "Yes.") Then
TextWindow.WriteLine("Good.")
EndIf
If (response = "Pardon me computer. Let's begin.") Then
TextWindow.WriteLine("Yes, lets.")
EndIf
If (response = "Yes." Or "Pardon me computer. Let's begin.") Then
Else
TextWindow.WriteLine("I don't understand.")
EndIf
TextWindow.WriteLine("Enter your command: ")
command = TextWindow.Read()
If (command = "Begin scan.") Then
TextWindow.WriteLine("Begining sweep.")
EndIf
If (command = "Enter camera mode.") Then
TextWindow.WriteLine("Camera mode is already active.")
EndIf
TextWindow.WriteLine("Enter specific instruction: ")

instruction = TextWindow.Read()

If (instruction = "What's my sister doing?" And Clock.Hour < 7) Then
TextWindow.WriteLine("Sleeping.")
EndIf
If (instruction = "What's my sister doing?" And Clock.Hour = 7) Then
TextWindow.WriteLine("She is on her Ipod.")
EndIf
If (instruction = "What's my sister doing?" And Clock.Hour > 12) Then
TextWindow.WriteLine( "She's on the computer.")
EndIf

Final RAGBRAI 2011 Post

2011-08-02T13:20:00.002-04:00

What more is there to say?

As I planned, Friday we did our own highly-modified route. We offloaded 10 miles to Saturday (to leave from the farm both days), rode 33 back west past Marengo and then 33 back to the farm.

If went really well. We went out fast. I bet the West Amana to Marengo leg was the fastest of our whole week. We must have averaged 15 mph or more and hit 20 some of the time. That was fun.

Friday's map

We stopped under a tree in South Amana and talked with a lady (I'd guess she was about 80) who told us some of her life story: that she moved to Amana from Oklahoma (to get married, I think), that her new mother-in-law told her how everything was to be done and she later took over the whole house and that she wasn't crazy about being married and would never get married again.

I stopped in Oxford to have lunch at Augusta with my friend, Tina Riggan. We had a nice long lunch and then I biked the last 7 miles for that day to the farm. It was nice and easy and the thought crossed my mind that maybe I should have done more. The next day I wished I had.

In terms of nostalgia, I passed my elementary school and the fields where we used to play baseball twice this day.

Saturday's route

Checked my bike tires and the front one was flat. Not much to do but pump it up and see how far I could go.

The first thing we had to do, route-wise, was make-up the almost 10 miles we hadn't ridden the day before by riding from the farm into Coralville. These were the biggest hills we had to contend with all day until we got to Davenport. But we were relatively fresh. We rode into IC on the IWV, turned left on Mormon Trek and right on Highway 6. We then turned left on Iowa Ave, left on Madison and right on Jefferson at the IMU to go up that hill on the north side of the Pentacrest. Another little, early challenge. Then we basically followed Rochester Ave. It became Herbert Hoover Highway and we rode it into West Branch.

Sentimental journey: passed by the high school I attended and, one block to the south, the hospital I was born in.

One of my better jokes of the trip: we were riding in and someone said 'Welcome to West Branch!' I said, 'Dang, I thought this was Davenport!' ;-)

Decided to go ahead and stop at a repair tent and check my tire. Tech found a staple-sized piece of metal in my tire, changed the tube and we were on our way. Didn't have to wait too long and it was worth the 12 bucks.

West Branch to Springdale to Moscow to Wilton was all fine. Stopped for water between Springdale and Moscow at a roadside vendor. Told him my mom was born in Cedar County and he knew the Suchomel name. Told him I was from Tiffin and he said his dad was a Schneider from Cosgrove.

Some bar (the name escapes me) did a good job of advertising their tent and Maid Rites, so that where we ate in Wilton. Christine and the twins met us and we had a pretty leisurely lunch.

Wilton to Durant to Walcott was the worst part of the day and one of the worst legs of the whole week. I think I was just completely tired by then. F58 was an unrelievedly straight and level road that was hot and I think we were fighting a little bit of a headwind, too. Sometimes you wish for a little hill to climb for the change and then the opportunity to coast a little. My mantra for day 7: anytime I can coast at 15 mph, I'm happy to do it.

The bad leg ended in Walcott with a freeze pop a little girl handed me as I rode by and a free water station at a fire hydrant. I felt totally refreshed.

Then, it was just a matter of finishing the last 14.2 miles to the Mississippi, watching over every hill and around every corner for signs of Davenport. I have to say, it felt like they took us through the worst streets in Davenport. On the outskirts, we ran into a bunch asphalt that was either fresh or it was runny because of the heat. Our tires picked up the tar.

There were also two, short but steep hills to finish off the trip. I polished them off and wished them good riddance!

Finished up the ride by finding Christine and the twins in the shade of a little tree and Al rolled in just a couple of minutes behind me. The line for dipping our front tires in the Mississippi was longer than we wanted to wait for, so we just walked over to the railing to get a picture by the river. But Al said (I think it was him) 'The water's almost close enough to touch' and I thought 'I can touch that water', so we lifted our bikes over the railing and dipped the front tires in the river.

I was so happy to be done with RAGBRAI!

Anything else?

As I've intimated before, RAGBRAI would have been much harder without Christine. I certainly wouldn't have wanted to experience it that way.

I love Iowa and RAGBRAI is a great way to see it. There were many nice moments and beautiful, big sky, green fields vistas.

We had great home stays and enjoyed visiting with Kevin and Cindy, the Carlsons outside of Carroll, Ken and Jeanine in Granger and my own family on the farm (though Dad was out of town).

Lance Armstrong was on the ride one day, the same day we rode up the biggest hill (the one I broke a spoke on). Wish I could have seen him fly up it. I'm not a huge Lance fan anymore, but there you have it.

Two posts about him:

Considered a titan in Iowa, Lance Armstrong returns to RAGBRAI today
More excitment in Carroll when Armstrong comes to town

And, if anyone want even more RAGBRAI information, there are about a hundred posts on their weblog.

RAGBRAI 2011 Day 5

2011-07-28T21:15:00.002-04:00

Today was my best day of RAGBRAI this year. The sky was overcast most of the day, which really made a big difference. We also had a little rain shower when we were in Colfax. Maybe most crucial: I didn't have any mechanical problems.

Today's map

We basically started at the beginning of the official route and ended at the end, for a change. It was the third biggest day of climbing (3,202 ft), but comparatively short (57.5 miles).

Preview of tomorrow

the map

Since our family farm is on the route tomorrow, but we're staying here tonight about an hour east of Grinnell, we're going to change our approach tomorrow. We're basically going to ride the route backwards for about half of the mileage we want to do tomorrow (I think the total will be about 65 miles) and then come back and finish at the farm (without doing the last 10 miles into Coralville. Clear?

(Since we're going to do an extra 10 on Saturday, we can cut off 10 tomorrow.)

RAGBRAI 2011 Day 4

2011-07-27T20:04:00.003-04:00

Something I neglected to mention yesterday was how much we owe to Christine and how grateful I am to her for all her support on the ride.

I had a great beginning to this day. Took ibuprofen for my bottom this morning and was able to pedal like I thought I could.

Today's map

I am very motivated to cycle myself out of traffic. So, leaving Luther and leaving Slater, I really got a great start (for me). Was probably riding in the 20s. Even tagged onto the back of a pace line leaving Slater and was able to hang with them for quite a while because they were actually going too slowly.

Plus, we had an overcast morning that just made it so much nicer to ride.

Going into Elkhart, I felt my rear tire start to thump on every rotation. So I rode it into town and stopped at the first repair tent. Sure enough, tire had blown out (it kind of takes on a zig zag shape, maybe a 'cord' breaks?). No line, got the repair done and headed out, so it was the best possible scenario for needing to change a tire. (I had actually noticed a partial cut in that tire when we left this morning.)

But then, just a few minutes to the west of Elkhart, the same tube blew out. That was really frustrating. I am so tired of repairing this stupid bike. (We had actually left the route at this point to just bike back to our home stay in Granger.) I could have tried to hitch with a support vehicle back into town, or even had Christine drive me back into town and get the tube fixed and finished my ride, but I just didn't care anymore.

I'll try again tomorrow and I'll try to push through some breakage and discomfort, but I just don't care enough this time to push myself to ride all of the real route or all of the real mileage.

Tomorrow's route

Altoona to Grinnell. 57.5 miles. 3,202 feet of climb.

RAGBRAI Update

2011-07-26T21:18:00.002-04:00

Ok, first night of Internet since we started. I know many of my fans have been dying for information, so let me try to catch you up a little ;-)

Daily Maps

A little gnarlier data, if desired

First day: climbed 4,298 feet, heat index was over 100. 50 people were treated for heat exhaustion (that we heard of). Felt ok.

Second day: Had a nice, overcast morning to keep temperatures down. Then I broke a spoke in the first town, Elk Horn. It was the best place to break a spoke, but still a pain. Started to fade at the end, but had a nice conversation with a woman from Waverly as we rode into Carroll, so that helped distract me.

Third day: uncomfortable, bad day on the bike. Same, basic heat. My bottom was really sore most of the day, then my little toes started to fall asleep and I had trouble keeping my hands comfortable. Had to take longer breaks. Then, as I was climbing the toughest hill we face this year, I broke a spoke. I doubted more than once that I would be able to finish it without walking, but was able to do it. Not sure how much the broken spoke contributed. The wheel goes out of true and starts to rub against the brake (for those of you who don't know). Christine was able to meet me at a crossroads pretty shortly thereafter.

So then I had to go in to Urbandale tonight (we're staying with Christine's aunt in Granger for the next two nights) to get the spoke repaired. The guys at Bike World were great and I really appreciate them!

Preview of tomorrow, Day Four: similar to today in climb (just a couple big hills). Short: just over 56 miles to ride. We'll see how I do and if I can get a little more comfortable on the bike. I feel like I've got the legs for RAGBRAI, but I'm just having trouble being at ease. Not sure what's different this time. The bike is technically higher quality. I did more training this time, like 100 or 200 miles more. On the downside, I'm 7 years older and 15 pounds heavier. Are those two factors really making it that much worse? I don't know. It's driving me crazy.

Copywrong: The Case of 'Kind of Blue'

2011-06-24T20:41:00.002-04:00

Andy Baio captained a tribute album to 'Kind of Blue' done with 8-bit sounds. He carefully licensed all the music. But he didn't think about the cover art and the original photographer sued him. He settled out of court for $32,500.

This story makes me sick. Artists should control their art, of course. But it just seems ethically wrong and legally asinine to punish your fans.

Some of the takedowns and commentary I've read:
+ Andy Baio was sued for Kind of Bloop
+ Why fair use doesn't work unless you've got a huge war-chest for paying lawyers
+ Bescizza tweeted some good stuff on 6/23
+ Kind of A Dick Move
+ The MetaFilter thread (if you want to go completely down in the weeds, though there are some interesting comments by mathowie and waxpancake (Baio himself) before the thread goes to complete noise.

Champion's League Final

2011-05-28T15:24:00.003-04:00

Champion's League Final

The F-35 Disaster

2011-05-20T19:00:00.000-04:00

F-35: Dodging One Bullet, Taking Another.

And, finally, Lockheed can expect fallout from McCain's apparent belief the company is avoiding shouldering any of the cost overrruns caused by its poor performance on the program. Carter said the current cost-plus development contract only allows the Pentagon to withhold awards fees. But the contract is being renegotiated...

Is there any way to interpret the F-35 program as something other than an unmitigated disaster?

We will never build the quantities necessary to approach any economies of scale and all the other savings that were promised have already evaporated.

Then, to add insult to injury, LockMart continues to profit from American taxpayers.

I used to think F-35 was too big to fail, but now it's starting to look like the failure will be too large to salvage. We will start to lose our international 'partners' and end up building many fewer jets. Will anyone else (besides the Israelis, who we basically give them to), hold out to buy any?

I'm starting to think the B will get canceled outright. Will any Cs get built or will the Navy go with Super Hornets til they can get to UCAV? Probably some As will get built, at least.

Can a good argument be made that we should just cancel the whole thing and make do with upgrades to what we have? Would it be possible to re-open the 22 line? Can we stomach doing any more business with LockMart?

What was the mistake? Overreach. We thought we could do more, more cheaply, than we really could. In hindsight, we never should have tried to build the 'Joint' -- three versions with a common planform. We certainly should have built more 22s. We should have stuck with more incremental developments of 16s and 18s and UAVs.

The Pentagon and LockMart are probably equally to blame, but only one of those is profiting in the midst of this disaster.

I said it before, I'll say it again: it's a good thing we probably won't be fighting with a near-peer air force any time soon.

Our Elvish Names

2011-05-19T22:44:00.001-04:00

I've known about Now We Have All Got Elvish Names since at least September 30, 2005. It came back up when I linked Speak geek: The world of made-up language in this Facebook post, partially in reference to the ElvenSpeak iPhone app.

As it says in the post linked above, I've known for at least five years that my Elvish name is 'Eruntalon'. Christine asked what hers would be and, based on NWHAGEN, I derived 'Christ-follower' into Eruhilyë. Then Christine asked about Elizabeth and Wil.

That's when I found this more expansive reference for Elvish names (linked from the bottom of NWHAGEN) by someone with more ability than me: quenya lapseparma. So, new method: look at both references for your names. If there are multiple choices, pick the one you like most (unless you have the Quenyan chops to do better ;-)

For myself, I'm sticking with 'Eruntalon', though quenya lapseparma says 'Erufailon' is better.

For Christine, she can go with my humble 'Eruhilyë', or choose from these options:

CHRISTIAN (m.) - from Latin 'follower of Christ, christian'; based on Helge Fauskanger's suggestion "Christ" could be translated as Laivino (from *laivina) "Annointed one", so Laivino itself or Laivindil ("Christ-friend") or Laivindur ('"Christ-servant"); in the meantime Tolkien's own translation of 'Christ' was published: Elpino, so we perhaps can derived an adjective from it: *elpinoina "christian", so Elpinoino

CHRISTIANA, CHRISTINA (f.) - fem. form of CHRISTIAN (q.v.), thus Laivine; or Elpinoine (see CHRISTIAN)

Elizabeth:

ELISABETH (f.) - Erunyauve, see NWHAGEN; it might be 'god's promise/oath'; Eru "god", vanda "oath", so Eruvande

Wil:

WILLIAM (m.) - Old Ger. 'will + helmet'; níra, selma "will"; cassa "helmet", thus Níracas or Selmacas (-casso in declinations), another possibility might be Mercas (with an element mer- "wish, desire, want"; this name is already used)

There you have it :-)

Four Chord Song Omnibus

2011-05-14T12:45:00.003-04:00

I knew, of course, that you could play an absurd amount of popular songs by knowing just a few chords. That's what made it so easy for me to learn to play a little guitar 20 years ago: you learn the most common chords, let's say four, in the most common keys, maybe three or four of them. I only had to practice for about an hour a day for a week to be able to make the changes in rhythm (I already had a strong vocal music background and some instrumental work) and I was able to play along with many common songs.

My friend, Jeff, mentioned the 4 Chord Song, so I looked it up on YouTube:

Funny stuff.

Then I started to dig a little deeper:

The Axis of Awesome: Four Chords Song

"Four Chords" is one of The Axis of Awesome's best-known works. It is a medley of popular songs that all follow the pop-punk chord progression. The work is an attempt to outline the perceived formulaic nature of popular music. The "Four Chords", in Roman numeral analysis, are written I - V - vi - IV.[6] The band also uses a vi - IV - I - V, usually from the song "Save Tonight" to the song "Torn". The band plays the song in the key of E so the progression they use is E-B-C♯m-A. Many of the songs featured in the medley have been transposed from their original keys.

The medley of songs that composes the "Four Chords" song is continually varied, often incorporating new releases. The Axis' song "Birdplane" is always included (itself a parody of the Five for Fighting song "Superman"). The melody usually starts with Journeys Don't stop believing.

Pop-punk chord progression

In the form vi-IV-I-V this was named sensitive female chord progression by Boston Globe Columnist Marc Hirsh[2]. In C major this would be Am-F-C-G. Hirsh first noticed the chord progression in the song "One of Us" by Joan Osborne.[3] He claims he then began to notice the chord progression in many other songs. He named the progression because he claimed it was used by many members of the Lilith Fair in the late 1990s.[2]

Both are a variant of the doo-wop I-vi-IV-V "Heart and Soul" progression, familiar from songs such as "Earth Angel" and "Donna"[2].

50s progression

As you can see, you can play a ton of songs with just four chords in these three progressions.

I am very tempted to make a comprehensive list of the songs in these categories, or at least the ones I like. This would be one place to start: Axis of Awesome 4 chords song list?

This video takes the form of an expose, listing many of the songs with the pop-punk and sensitive female progressions:

Of course, there are different melodies and instrumentation. And I'm actually inclined to marvel at the flexibility of basic pop structure rather than belittle it.

And here's the funny Pachelbel Rant:

Hard to believe: a useful YouTube comment:

it's funny, but he's technically wrong towards the end. Pachelbel's Canon goes I, V, vi, iii, in keeping with baroque chord conventions. Most of the songs he plays are I, V, vi, IV, which is a different phenomenon all together.

Will May 21 Be TEOTWAWKI? I Feel Fine.

2011-05-09T20:41:00.004-04:00

I don't know about you, but we've got billboards all over Columbia that say Judgment Day is coming May 21st. The Bible guarantees it!

For our part, we're pretty sure Judgment Day is not May 21st. Elizabeth adapted the lyrics of It's The End of the World as We Know It (And I Feel Fine) tonight to accommodate May 21st. Point is, we're not worried

Turns out Family Radio Worldwide and Harold Camping are behind it.

It's pretty clear from the Bible that all Christians will be strange to the world in some ways. I wish some of us didn't have to add to the non-Jesus-originating strangeness. Kind of hard to sort it all, I bet, if you're not familiar with the different kinds of craziness. In my opinion, it makes the Christians look even worse for unnecessary reasons. It's sort of like friendly fire.

Just to confuse the issue, I do believe Jesus will come back one day and that the end of the world will come and justice will roll down like mighty waters. And I'm ready.

But I'm about 99.99% sure the Bible doesn't guarantee the May 21st date.

(Also, to confuse matters more, Camping believes in the 'rapture' and I do not. There could be a rapture, but I don't think there will be.)

The Young Victoria and More

2011-05-09T00:49:00.002-04:00

Christine and I watched this tonight for Mother's Day. She loved it and I liked it.

One of my favorite parts was the repeated use of Zadok the Priest, which I think we sang my freshman year in high school (1986).

The Young Victoria has nine clips from the movie (including the trailer).

The Wikipedia article on Queen Victoria makes the movie sound pretty authentic, which is nice for a change. Unfortunately, though the couple was shot at, the movie has Albert actually getting hit.

Short Review of Thor (no spoilers)

2011-05-07T09:55:00.001-04:00

Stuff I liked:

fine for kids
reasonably humorous
Asgard - planet/dimension treatment
Loki 'origin'

The reviews I've seen act like it's not bold enough, too boring, maybe not edgy enough. I'm fine with that for the tradeoffs. A nice, family popcorn movie.

I was really disappointed with Natalie Portman's character, as you can see from this post on Facebook:

Pathetic female physicists in movies:

Denise Richards, The World is Not Enough
Elisabeth Shue, The Saint
Natalie Portman, Thor

NP's character was probably my least favorite part of Thor, probably at least half-due to writing and direction.

You should still see it. Wil and I are going tonight :-)

Osama bin Laden Is Dead

2011-05-02T23:05:00.003-04:00

A few thoughts.

1. I'm glad. Part of me wants to celebrate ObL burning in hell right this minute.

2. However, I know there are Christian reasons to not be glad.

3. Furthermore, my understanding of Hell, especially following Tim Keller following CS Lewis, is a state for people who reject God to be away from Him forever. And God is love. So, it's not quite the 'happy' image of ObL roasting and brings home the eternal consequences of all of our decisions.

4. As I said in this Facebook post, it makes me sick that ObL was living in comparative comfort, including with one of his wives (so he got to have regular sex). I begrudge him every need and luxury.

5. I regret so much about our mishandled responses to 9/11 -- not so much attacking the Taliban and Saddam Hussein, but how we screwed them up. Too many Americans and Afghans and Iraqis lost their lives or their loved ones on account of our mistakes.

6. And, as I said on this Facebook thread, many of the things that we fought for and have tried to accomplish will likely be short-changed and squandered. What are the chances of a decent outcome in Iraq, not to mention Afghanistan and Pakistan?

That's it for now.

Sermon notes: He Came to Himself by Tim Keller

2011-04-01T15:20:00.003-04:00

Original Series Name: The Fellowship of Grace (original name)
New Series Name: The Prodigal God

He Came to Himself
Luke 15:11-20

A story about the meltdown of community and its restoration. Family is the most basic human community.
To ask for your inheritance when your father is still alive is to wish him dead.

The Importance of Repentance
'Came to his senses' is a Semitic idiom that refers to repentance
If you want the power and love of God to explode into your life, the fuse is repentance.
You notice how often Jesus says 'repent and believe the Gospel'
'If you don't repent, I don't have anything to give you.'
Martin Luther's 1st of 95 theses: 'Our Lord and Master Jesus Christ, when He said Poenitentiam agite, willed that the whole life of believers should be repentance.'
'All of life is repentance.'
Lord Byron: 'The weak alone repent'
What the world thinks about repentance: it's a sign of weakness, it's an experience of disempowerment, it's an aberration - you hope it hardly or never happens
Luther says the opposite. Repentance is a sign of strength. Do you realize how full of joy you have to be, how loved you have to feel, how strong spiritually and emotionally you need to be in order to repent at the drop of a hat when you do something wrong?

--Yes, I do because I so seldom have that strength!

The inability to repent is a sign of weakness.
Who do you agree with? Luther and the Bible or Byron and the world?

Repentance brings liberation. Finally free from pretense and evasion. Free from the need to always win every argument, from the need to defend yourself, from the need to expose others, to show other people 'you're not so great'.
A repentance person is vulnerable and happy to do it. 'Yes, I was wrong. Let's make it right.' Quick to repent. Joyful in repentance. It's liberation. I don't have to control what everybody thinks.

In fairness, there really are two kinds of repentance.
2 Cor 7:10 Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret. But worldly sorrow brings death.

The Anatomy of Repentace
what did the young man in the parable do right?
1. came to his senses
biggest problem sins are ones you don't see. you're in denial. the human heart runs on denial the way my car runs on gas. coming to your senses happens to you. wrongdoing sets up strains that lead to breakdown. when we come to our sense because of pain, we can repent.
anyone who sees themselves clearly knows we don't always see ourselves clearly. they come circumstantially, not at our command.
what did the younger brother do right?
realized that first he sinned against God
Psalm 51: against you only have i sinned
whatever sin you've done, primarily you've sinned against the goodness and greatness of God.
what wakes us up to what is wrong with us? pain.
and what is wrong with us is a form of self-centeredness.
when the pain comes, it is possible for 'repentance' to be not a change from self-centeredness but a deeper kind. it is possible for 'repentance' to be self-absorbed
story of manipulative husband. he was really upset -- for himself
beautiful Charnock quote: 'i have offended a god who has the deportment of a friend'
How could I treat God so badly given all that He has done for me? How can I break His heart?

'i have sinned against you. i am no longer worthy to be called your son.'
no blame-shifting. takes responsibility.

The Key to Repentance
what didn't he do?
make me like one of your hired men.
NB: this is an illustation of God's love. not all of it applies to our human relationships. eg, if we were the younger son, we should try to make things right, try to pay back. restitution is appropriate in human relationships.
but, in this story, the son's approach to repentance, if it's ours with God, is totally wrong.
religion v. Gospel
religion: 'if i have a good record, then God will bless me'
in religion, repentance is a disaster. it's weak. it separates you from your source of power.
it's a form of atoning for sin. self-flagellation. loathing. bent way of trying to get good record back. 'surely only a good person would think he's so bad, right?'

the father is watching for his son
does not allow working way back in or abjectness
God's love empowers the repentance, makes first part of son's speech easier
in the Gospel, repentance connects you more deeply to your source of joy and power. it's Jesus' record, not ours.
amazing that Jesus told this story, when that was not how Jesus was received by God on the Cross

you're so hopeless, Jesus had to die for you. it's humbling and keeps us from thinking too highly of ourselves, sins of pride.
other times, i feel like i'm not valuable, but the Gospel affirms us: Jesus loved us and valued us and died for us and that affirms us. fights sins of self-hatred.

The Kind of Community that Results From Repentance
1. if 'coming to our senses' doesn't necessarily happen on command, if we sometimes need to be brought to our senses, then what kind of community do we need to be in?
Odysseus had himself lashed to the mast.
too many of us are simply church consumers. we don't join. we don't take a vow that members (elders, officers, pastors, friends) who see us going crazy can confront us. and if not, then you don't understand repentance yet. a Gospel Christian understands that sometimes you're going to be out of your head and need to be brought to your senses. sometimes we say 'tie me to the mast and wait 'til I go sane'
you say 'i've been in a church where authority was abused'
well, there are quack doctors, but you don't swear off anti-biotics.
in a repentant community, any person trying to help you will be gentle and not give up on you
don't you want to be in a community like that? truth and love? no abuse, but no neglect of people who are have lost their senses, either.

Various and sundry Keller stuff

2011-03-22T23:12:00.003-04:00

Yes, I'm on quite a Keller kick these days. Hopefully it's not idolatry ;-)

+ How Timothy Keller Spreads the Gospel in New York City, and Beyond, The Atlantic

+ Tim on MSNBC's 'morning joe', What is Christ's appeal in 21st century

+ Tim on Fox News: What is the True Word of Jesus?

Interestingly, in this one, the interviewer is a member of Keller's church.

+ Probably will interest only me: pdf of Keller's sermon notes -- abridged and somewhat cryptic.

+ The preachers Tim listens to on his iPod while he's jogging.

Sermon notes: Sin as Slavery by Tim Keller

2011-03-21T07:49:00.001-04:00

Sermon Series: The Faces of Sin
Sin as Slavery (The mp3 can be streamed or downloaded for free here)
Num 11:4-6, 10-20

Notes preceded by '--' are my thoughts.

--God Sends Quails, The 77s
'you failed, you spit out manna and God sends quails'

why when we know what is right to do, don't we?
all religions basically agree on right behavior
the main reason for our problems is that we don't live that way
what is it about the human condition that we can know exactly what we're supposed to do and the consequences when we don't and we still do the wrong thing?
--and, a little more disturbingly, we go to great lengths to convince ourselves that those behaviors are not the right ones, after all
we are slaves to sin. sin is not just an action, it's a power.
every sinful action has destructive power on the faculty that engaged in it: reason, emotions, will

the Israelites want to go back to Egypt
that's insane
--in the same way, we trick ourselves into going back to slavery
'what rational person says 'there was an upside.'?'
they're spiritual slaves, powerless to do what's best for them.
so are we
Rom 7 -- i am sold as a slave under sin
if you're not aware of your spiritual slavery, your moral ambition is too low
'i challenge you to live be the Golden Rule for 12 hours'
--we all agree it's a nice idea, but few of us really try concertedly to live it out
if you think you can do any good you would want to, you're not trying very hard

structure of the slavery
sin undermines ability to do right
craving overwhelms reason
--God turned them over to their desires
addiction pattern
every sinful action becomes an addiction
3 parts of addiction cycle
1. distress
choose to deal with agent
agent promises transcendence and freedom, sense of liberation and escape
tolerance develops. the more you do, the more you need. your emotions are shriveling up.
2. denial
rationalization. can't think objectively
3. dissolves and destroys willpower
trying to deal with distress with very thing that caused distress
thinking disobeying God will bring you freedom is taking your freedom

sin is craving something more than God, living for something more than God.
there's a tolerance effect in life: desired career pales. marriage cannot satisfy us in place of God
emotions shrivel. mind shrivels.
Aldous Huxley is honest: i wanted there to be no God b/c i wanted to sleep around. philosophers aren't objective. i chose my atheism as an act of sexual liberation
holding a grudge rots your mind. you have to feel morally superior to that person.
will shrivels
Jonathan Edwards: sin turns the heart into a fire and there's never been a fire that said 'enough fuel, i'm satisfied'. in the same way, there's never been a heart that said 'i've had enough success, love, approval, comfort'.
what do i tell myself would make me happy if only i had it? shows your idol, your slavery.
the larger the fire grows, the more fuel, including oxygen, it wants

how are we healed?
few good examples in this passage, but some insights
God says 'You've rejected me'
God performs an intervention
we need waking up
our real problem is God is not burning at the center of our lives
there's no bigger slave than the people who don't know they're slaves
'you will loathe the meat b/c you have loathed Me'
we can't stop ourselves by willpower or trying harder
we need an appetite for God, tasting God.
beyond believing and obeying
taste and see that the Lord is good
we need great worship, as much as possible
you can't have quality time with God without quantity time
we need a new fire that says 'if only, i saw the Lord. if only i could feel Him to be as great as i know Him to be'
--and we can remember back to the times when He has shown Himself great to us
the reason nothing else tastes is you haven't tasted that the Lord is good
and there is no tolerance effect
His mercies are new every morning!

we need a real, better-than Moses
Moses wanted to die rather than bear the burden of the people
Hebrews 3: there's a better-than-Moses
Jesus was willing to take the burden and die thereby
if we know the Truth and continue in it, It will set us free

Sermon notes: Sin as Predator by Tim Keller

2011-03-18T21:49:00.002-04:00

Sermon Series: The Faces of Sin
Sin as Predator by Tim Keller
Genesis 4:1-16, Cain and Abel

What's wrong with us, the human race? The evil we are capable of is terrifying.
'Terminator' -- Characters keep underestimating the predatory power of the Terminator.

1. 'Sin is crouching at your door.'
Sin is what's wrong with us.
Sin hides itself.
'crouching', like leopards and tigers (in the Hebrew)
crouches in a kind of hiding, taking on a smaller profile
Our sin looks smaller than it is. We rationalize it. There's a monster in the middle of our ordinary lives.
both Cain and Abel bring offering ('minha' in Hebrew, used of dedications (v. commonly taught need for blood)).
like an engagement ring. expensive token of whole being
'i give you this ring and with all that i am and all that i have i honor you'
unless we back up worship with our whole life, it's not love, it's bribery
1 Jn 3:12: Abel's deeds were holy and Cain's were not
Cain is like the average churchgoer
doesn't give God everything. ordinary, half-hearted religion
Cornelius Plantinga's Not the Way It's Supposed to Be
Sin is treating yourself as first cause and God is accessory.
ordinary half-heartedness and absolutely infernal
'i deserve a better life than this!'
in this envy is hidden murder.
Eichmann and Nuremberg trials: terrifying because evil is ordinary. we wish it was only in monsters, but it's not. 'banality of evil'
FDR didn't believe reports coming out of Europe. was recommended Dorothy Sayers and Kierkegaard on original sin.
your biggest sins looks smaller to you than anyone else.
every grudge is murder in a little ball. it wants to be murder.
every lust is adultery in a little ball. it wants to be adultery.
every instance of envy wants to be robbery
sin says 'i'll just stay in the corner. i wont hurt you.'
we tolerate it.
'have quit with sin,' said the old Puritans
sin is coiled in a little ball
you think you can handle it, but it will not stay in a corner

2. Sin is powerful
'It's desire is to have you.'
Sin is not done with you after you are done with it.
Sin takes on a being and life of its own that will chew and devour you.
when you lie, you're not done with lying. you have to lie again. and you will be lied to.
sin has an addictive power. not all addictions are sins, but all sins are addictions.
it's easier to do it the next time.
at first the Nazis killed the Jews because they hated them, then they hated them because they killed them.
you have to keep hating to justify your murder
East of Eden
sin is not just wrong, it's self-damaging, which means it's stupid.
God is not mocked.
liars are lied to. cowards are deserted. haters are hated. gossipers are gossiped about.
The Terminator is after you.

3. There is hope for the defeat of sin.
'you must master it'
God appeals to Cain. he asks him. and not for information. God already knows. He's giving a chance for repentance.
to Adam and Eve: where are you?
to Jonah: do you do well to be angry?
to Cain: where is your brother?
your real enemy is not Able. your real problem is not what he or I [God] have done to you. your real problem is your sin
you're not miserable because of what has happened to you, you're miserable because of what's in you. you're not a victim. there's hope if you can take responsibility.
God says to us: why are you cast down and angry? yes, some bad things might have happened. but you're miserable b/c of your response to what's been done to you. self-pity, anger, bitterness, refusal to forgive, pride, hurt feelings, insistence that certain things (idols) will save you.
repentance is the only hopeful answer
God gives Cain one more chance to repent.
Cain says 'am i Abel's babysitter?'
'Abel's blood cries out to Me from the ground.'
every human life is valuable. our blood cries out to God and He cannot let it pass b/c that would be unjust.
what if Cain had repented?
what if we repent? 'my main problem in life is my sin.'
God takes us, also, to a pool of blood, but it's not Abel's
Abel was the first of pure people who show up the half-hearted
and Jesus was the ultimate Abel because he was perfect
Hebrews 12.24: Jesus cries out: Sin must be paid. I have paid.
'i'm religious, but not fanatical.' watch out, Cain.
when we repent, God takes us to Jesus' blood
the mark of Cain preserves us from getting what we deserve until we die so we have a chance to repent.

Where Does Home Field Advantage Come From?

2011-03-08T10:58:00.005-05:00

Interesting excerpt in Sports Illustrated from new book Scorecasting: The Hidden Influences Behind How Sports Are Played and Games Are Won. ESPN calls it 'Freakonomics for sports', which makes the book sound like it's right up my alley, and I certainly enjoyed the part I read. Unfortunately, SI doesn't make it's articles available for free on the web anymore, so I can't link it for you. Here's the Wikipedia summary and some related resources:

+ Home advantage

Sports Illustrated, in a 17 January 2011 report, reported that home crowds, rigor of travel for visiting teams, scheduling, and unique home field characteristics, were not factors in giving home teams an advantage. The journal concluded that it was favorable treatment by game officials and referees that conferred advantages on home teams. Sports Illustrated stated that sports officials are unwittingly and psychologically influenced by home crowds and the influence is significant enough to effect the outcomes of sporting events in favor of the home team.^[3]

+ More on home field advantage and why the price of beer at Wrigley is the largest influence on the Cubs' financial success: A Conversation With Tobias Moskowitz

+ Book excerpt: Wertheim's Scorecasting

+ The curse of the No. 1 draft pick

STS-133 Amalgamation Post

2011-02-27T20:09:00.002-05:00

Had a chance to see STS-133 launch with a press credential, which was most excellent.

Most of my stuff was over on Facebook, and mostly in an album, so here's a link: STS-133 Facebook Album

I also wrote three posts for Aviation Week. Here they are:

+ View from the Cape
+ Robonaut Is Ready for Launch
+ Discovery STS-133 Launches After Brief Hold

My friend, Heather's Flickstream of the launch: Spacegasm 2011

And new friend Rick Mann's Flickrstream: STS-133

Nietzsche, Nihilism and More!

2011-02-03T18:28:00.003-05:00

My friend, Curtis Gale Weeks, picked up on a Facebook post of mine about Nietzsche. After a few exchanges, he went far beyond my humble beginning in this really large post: The Worldviewer in the World.

For some reason, TypePad won't accept my comment (too long? html?). That's ok. As it got longer, I planned on copying it over here anyway. It's almost impossible that anyone besides Curtis and I will read it, but here it is for posterity.

stream of consciousness comment:

dude, how long is this thing?! ;-)

self/world: yes, a shocking number of people don't at least have a working understanding of the objectivity/subjectivity issues wrangled in modernism/pomo. that said, i work on the assumption that physical objectivity is trustworthy about 99% of the time. that number falls precipitously when it moves into less 'scientific' areas like psychology, sociology, philosophy, etc.

i get the purpose of your WOODA and don't disagree, but wonder if it could benefit from Occam's Razor...

right: naive realism is a big problem. i'm continually surprised at how many people trained in science don't have this basic concept and the criticism thereof as a critique. NR, in many ways, gets us the horrors of the 20th century, including 2 world wars, the Holocaust and, to overlap a little, Hitler, Stalin and Mao.

then again, maybe it's not modernism, strictly speaking, that is the problem, but more uncritical modernism, or naive realism. we get a lot more skewed by our self-limited/interested opinions and presuppositions (limits of human psychology) than any legitimate quantum objectivity concerns. one example from my quotidian work: all of the hubris, politics, etc. that make us unable to procure military equipment on time and on budget.

i'm inclined to think that, for all our speculation in the subjective fields, it's largely moot (using the term strictly): we can argue about it forever without much progress. sure, the analysis is worth it, but you'll likely not convince an opponent, and there we go. most objective progress will be made in more-objective domains. in subjective areas, have we really made much progress as a species? sure, we have a thin veneer of civility sometimes. some places we have made progress with 'liberal' law, etc. but are people more moral than 4000 years ago? more noble? of course, ethics may be the second most esoteric subject (the prize reserved for theology ;-)

right: the funny thing is, naive realism is so easily destroyed. if only they'd read the critiques ;-)

ahh, the sweet Danish prince. i was a lot more into him when i was young and brooding ;-)

Second, the attempt to avoid the recursive tautological dilemma of naïve realism invariably leads to a presumption of the existence of an extra-real, because outside the objective reality, first cause or prime mover; i.e., to avoid U=U and its tautological insufficiency vis-à-vis meaning and value, a meaningful G in some form is imagined to exist outside “the rest” of objective reality that will give meaning to the World. These in conjunction will lead to a philosophical idealism in practice, or to philosophical subjectivity misconstrued as objectivity, or else to philosophical relativism — i.e., ultimately to nihilism, since meaning and value, rather than existing inherently in objective reality, will be found in extra-real or imaginary realities, subjective meanings, imagined relationships, and so forth, and these may begin to appear arbitrary.

hmm. do i agree? i happen to believe in an extra-real, but is that necessarily my guarantee of any objective world? i believe there is an objective world (realism metaphysic) but am skeptical (epistemology) about our ability to know it (in the justified true belief sense). therefore, am in on the hook for your criticism here? they don't seem to apply to me, though maybe it is arbitrary (unprovable, philosophically) in the end. i'd be ok with that ;-)

N's 'God is dead', as you describe it, is, of course, very valuable.

so, which of these labels do we apply to Nietzsche? was he just a critic (valuable, but limited) or did he espouse something? does his philosophy have positive, constructive content?

Notes: The Problem with Sparta

2011-01-29T14:33:00.002-05:00

Ok, I give up. I was going to write a full-fledged paper on this, then I got three new video games for Christmas. Time to just cut bait.

So here are some of the ideas and notes, for posterity.

The Problem with Sparta (and Greece)

References
300 (original graphic novel by Frank Miller and better-known movie)
Gates of Fire, Steven Pressfield
The Peloponnesian War, Thucydides
A War Like No Other, Victor Davis Hanson
Sailing the Wine-Dark Sea, Thomas Cahill

The fiction glorifies Sparta while the non-fiction is more critical than laudatory. I was struck by how much the fictional Sparta, in three stories I really love, did not match the history I'd been studying.

Did Pressfield make his story more palatable to his readership by soft-pedaling Helot slavery, radical conservatism and aristocracy, oligarchy and homosexuality and pederasty?

We moderns are very critical of the real, historical Sparta. Insofar as it stands in for Greece in the fiction above, it's an inaccurate portrayal. To say nothing of all the problems with our view of the Golden Age of Athens...

A Few Reviews

2011-01-28T18:29:00.003-05:00

Happened across some Orson Scott Card reviews recently that I liked pretty well. Here they are:

Strokes and Scott Pilgrim

Tangled, Conversations, Gelato, Zagat

Prince of Persia, Medium Season Finale

Tame Dragons and Hornblower (How to Tame Your Dragon and Horatio Hornblower)

Trying to Get My Mind Around WikiLeaks

2010-12-10T10:03:00.002-05:00

My initial reaction is that WikiLeaks isn't that bad, and may ultimately be good.

For an opinion piece in this vein, read Why WikiLeaks Is Good for America (thought, ultimately, I don't consider just America my scope).

My friend, Ray's post on Facebook, was the first opinion that pushed me to consider the alternative. He said 'To be clear - Wikileaks is not a "whistleblower." It's a fence - an organization that facilitates the transfer of stolen property for personal gain: fame, fortune and notoriety.'

There's no doubt in my mind that Assange is a disturbed glory-seeker. But that doesn't necessarily invalidate the results.

Here's a take I like:

Wikileaks is like Pirate Bay; something that I don't like but have to defend because of the collateral damage caused by attacking it.

Simon Phipps via Tim Bray

(Idle thought: Which is worse? Pirate Bay or WikiLeaks?)

I agree that we're seeing some ugly collateral damage in response to WikiLeaks. The comments from some of our looser-cannon pundits and Congress members alone is probably more embarrassing than any of the cables.

One of the things we're getting via WikiLeaks is actual evidence of the ways in which our 'diplomacy' is unsavory. The realpolitik fits in just fine with Machiavelli. I still find it distasteful.

Tangential note: As a member of the media who's been commenting on WikiLeaked material, we can't afford not to.

On another hand (how many are we up to now?), David Kenner of Foreign Policy says:

In short, these are the most sensible, boring cables that I've come across yet. And I'm at a loss why Julian Assange thinks that they will do anything but increase the American public's belief that its government, by and large, acts responsibly on the international stage.

Random thought: I have noticed that the closer people are to official positions, the more disturbed or angered they seem to be by WikiLeaks.

Tom Barnett says we have bigger fish to fry, and there's no doubt about that.

Secrecy News says 'the scope of government secrecy in the U.S. has exceeded rational boundaries', and I'm pretty sure that's right.

I guess that's about it for me. Help me out. What are your thoughts about WikiLeaks?

Would Greek City-states Be a Better Governmental Model?

2010-12-01T20:06:00.001-05:00

Reading about the Greek polis: 'city-state' or even 'citizen-state'.

I stipulate that federalism has been best for the US up to now. Hamilton's success is obvious, in my opinion. Hard to think our country would have risen to such great heights with Jeffersonian ideals.

However, I do think to continue in strength, we're going to have to start getting smaller, to devolve decision-making and spending to more local levels, as small as possible, really.

At the same time, I think there's a fairly good chance that Stephenson's enclaves will also eventually come to pass, whether we like it or not.

The US would be best-served by more local government, or at least engagement, but will we really be able to pull it off?

It's certainly possible without a Constitutional convention. All it takes is more people, as many as possible, getting involved in their communities. More local involvement is always good. If we had a movement of local citizen activism, it would certainly change this country more than any national change in political partisan control.

Beyond that, as a Christian, I am also a firm believer in local impact through church involvement and local Christian activity. In fact, that would is my preferred local activism for Christians.

There, I've solved our problems. Live long and prosper ;-)

Barca v. Real Madrid Thoughts

2010-11-29T19:49:00.000-05:00

Video highlights

Five-star Barcelona thrash Real Madrid

David Villa strikes twice as slick Barcelona thrash Real Madrid

+ Ronaldo continues to supply evidence that he is a punk.

+ How did so many defenders from the World Cup winners, including the keeper, get totally eviscerated by Barca?

+ David Villa looks like a little nerd. Dang, does he have a nose for the ball. Dude can flat out score (two goals, one assist in this game).

Can We Help Cyber-dissidents?

2010-11-21T00:37:00.000-05:00

After reading Digital Weapons Help Dissidents Punch Holes in China's Great Firewall, I can't help thinking that there must be something interested parties can do to help. My thoughts begin along the lines of BOINC or the World Community Grid -- distributed computing like SETI@Home and other similar projects.

The article mentions The Global Internet Freedom Consortium, which promotes several actively-developed software solutions.

I suppose a person could host a run a Tor relay, but that doesn't really answer the mail.

I was thinking about this back during the Iranian protests, too...

What do you think?

Download (and Backup) Your Facebook Content

2010-11-06T14:07:00.003-04:00

Got a lot of content on Facebook that you don't have anywhere else? Want a reliable backup?

I first tried SocialSafe, and even paid $3 for an early version, which so far has not worked for me. Trying their latest version right now, which seems to be choking on the size of my Fb footprint.

Then I found out that Fb has provided this functionality for a month now. How did I miss it?! It doesn't promise as much as SocialSafe, but it does deliver. Looks to me like the format you get it in is basic html.

The short, self-explanatory version is: Account > Account Settings > Download Your Information.

More:

Lifehacker: How to Download Your Information from Facebook
Facebook: Download Your Information

Obama on 'The Daily Show'

2010-11-06T13:00:00.001-04:00

Just a few thoughts I had, again, mostly random, and am just getting posted.

Watch the video here.

no. not the two toughest years since the Great Depression. (economically, yes)

for me to take you seriously, you have to offer an honest critique of yourself and your work

Obama wants it both ways (a little): we will bring massive change (but it will take some time and there are big challenges so be patient with us). problems in DC are systemic. you can't make sweeping changes with the system close to what it is. you just get the same results eventually (Contract with America eventually sold out, etc)

however, i tend to agree that the economy has been stabilized for a comparatively small price (if his numbers are right. i'm sure every Libertarian has a different story)

such a partisan audience, it's crazy

'is government nimble enough to handle these 21st century crises?' now that is a GREAT question.

Filibuster reform is surely needed.

'Troy' Thoughts

2010-11-06T00:14:00.001-04:00

Finally got around to watching Troy after Cory's recommendation and reading the 'Iliad'. A few mostly disconnected thoughts while watching:

1:17--no. Hektor would never have done such an ignoble thing [kill Menelaos while he was fighting Paris].

thought i'd like Sean Been as Odysseus. no. once thought i'd prefer him to Viggo Mortensen for Aragorn. no, too.

you feel bad for Hektor. he wants to live. he wants to see his son grow.

'Sing, O Muse, the anger of Achilleus'

'So they buried Hektor, tamer of horses.'

love the characterization of Achilleus. spot on. killing machine. his battle scenes would have been a little cooler in 300 style.

but Brad Pitt doesn't quite have the acting chops, especially to pull off the scene with Priam.

not bad. hits the right emotional notes.

of course, Achilleus would have never gone for such a gambit [the Trojan Horse] (though i see the need to telescope the action).

Curse Orlando Bloom for his terrible archery form in four movies! ;-)

Overall, good movie. Recommended. Would actually make a decent intro if you were going to read the 'Iliad'.

Confucius: Something More Important than Voting

2010-10-26T18:22:00.002-04:00

Yes, voting is important. But it's not the most important way to influence our life together as a nation. Not even close.

Being even more engaged than voting can be good, too. Political action can be a good thing.

But we have the sneaking suspicion that all politicians on both sides are slimy. And the longer they've been in the game, the slimier they seem (in general).

If you share these impressions, you'll agree with me that politics is not going to fix or save any nation.

The twins are studying Confucius, who emphasized that the way we treat one another in our personal relationships shapes our nation most. Respect and love must begin at home with children respecting parents and parents loving and nurturing their children. (Parents should endeavor to be worthy of their children's respect.)

Unsurprisingly, we could make a very similar argument from the thought of both Jesus and Paul. It's fun to reference someone else for a change, though, yes? :-)

(Of course voting is an anachronistic concept with respect to Confucius. But the priority fits with his overall concept of government.)

Mini-Iliad Review: Because You Demanded It!

2010-09-12T19:52:00.002-04:00

Thanks to Mark Safranski for 'commissioning' this post and Mike Lotus for encouraging it. Mark has crossposted on his much-more-major-than-mine weblog, Zenpundit.

What makes 'The Iliad' a classic? Why is it classic?

I think the primary answer is simple: it's the characters. If you can hang tough through all of the idiosyncratic flourishes and ornaments and repetitions, the characters are compelling: Achilleus, his anger and character; the comparative nobility of Hektor and Patroklos (both of whom we know are doomed); the vagaries of the gods and their adolescent machinations; the supporting cast of Agamemnon, Menelaos the wronged, two very different men named Aias (Ajax), Diomedes, Aeneas, Odysseus, Nestor, Paris, Helen and Priam. Take these characters and others and mix them with an interesting story and you have a classic that reaches out to us from about the eighth century BC (when it was likely 'composed' (with heavy use of previous, oral sources) by Homer), maybe from as far back as the 12th century BC (maybe the original setting of what has come down to us as The Trojan War). 'The Iliad' still resonates with us today.

One reason 'The Iliad' can still move us is that Homer has done a masterful job of relating the 'accidents' of life. 'Time and chance happen to all men', and people who lived 3000 year ago couldn't deceive themselves about their ability to control life the way we 'modern' people do. Human experience and emotions are often inscrutable. 'Love' (baldly called 'lust' by Homer) can easily destroy. When it occurs in the most influential levels of society, it can draw whole nations into its whirling vortex. Even the love between men in 'The Iliad' can seem illogical (no matter where you come down on the homosexuality question): why does noble Patroklos honor Achilleus literally to the death?

'The Iliad', of course, focuses a lot on war in ways that have become shockingly remote for most of us. Nothing is so susceptible to 'luck' as war. One 'good' soldier gets hit by stray friendly fire and dies instantly. Another 'bad' soldier comes through the whole war unscathed. Consider the hazards of love, life and war in 'The Iliad'. Consider them in our own experience. It makes more sense than many theories to conclude that arbitrary and capricious gods can powerfully affect us.

My final guess (for the purposes of this mini-review) at why 'The Iliad' is a classic is that the poetry is timeless. This is, of course, nearly impossible to take in from one read-through in translation. My friend, Jason, listened to the abridged version and talked about its power. The commentators discuss it quite a bit, from what I can tell. Most of us (who aren't going to pay the price to really test it) are going to have to take this on faith and rate it as we will. Poetry is a dying art, and poetry appreciation is probably in an even worse state.

I wonder what role foreknowledge plays in 'The Iliad'. Many of us know the broad outline of the story going in. If we don't, Homer spills it in short order. Does knowing Achilleus dies shortly after this episode in The Trojan War change our view of him? Do we cut him more slack? How does knowing that Hektor and Patroklos die within the bounds of this story affect us? Or that Odysseus lives? Or that Agamemnon will be murdered in his bath by his wife (he had it coming ;-)?

Something else that stands out about 'The Iliad' is the graphic war imagery. Homer's descriptions almost seem gratuitous when he goes into detail about how one soldier killed another, where the spear penetrated and where it came out, what muscles were severed, what happened to the bowels, teeth or brain. It's probably distasteful to many of us in the 21st century, but I think we can just chalk that up to cultural differences.

My second big question is: what does 'The Iliad' mean? I'm very snobbish about exegesis, especially concerning the Bible (my training, as a former pastor), but including any suitably worthy literature (with concomitant training in British Lit and Analytic Philosophy). Exegesis, in principle, is simple: what was the author trying to communicate to the audience? (So why is good exegesis so hard to find? ;-) If we are to make any meaningful connection to the original work, this is where we have to begin. You can deploy your Reader Response Theory on 'Twilight' or some such drivel, but keep it off my Homer (I told you I'm a snob ;-).

We come to 'The Iliad' at a loss because Homer's values are very different from ours. His presuppositions are vastly different from ours. I have touched on some of these already. The gods can show up at any time and throw any wrench in the works for almost any imaginable reason. We have to take the role of the gods seriously to take Homer seriously. What did their role say about the responsibility of people? Humans retain some responsibility, almost paradoxically. Helen isn't completely off the hook for running away with Paris. Achilleus does not get a complete pass for his anger that causes the deaths of so many Achaean comrades. Agamemnon is not excused for his overbearing pride that contributed to the disagreement with Achilleus. And even noble Hektor faces bouts of inaction and cowardice for which he is not wholly exonerated.

Another value we find hard to understand is the ancient Greek concept of nobility. It's just born there. If you're a shepherd who's not the natural-born son of King Priam and Queen Hekabe, that's all you'll ever be: a shepherd. The main characters are noble; many are first-generation half-deities and most (all?) have divinity in their bloodline somewhere. From our standpoint, Achilleus behaves like a monster, especially in his repeated attempted-desecration of Hektor's body (the gods protect Hektor's body and Achilleus' ultimate honor by preserving Hektor's corpse inviolate in almost the perfect proverbial deus ex machina). He's sacrificed any claim to nobility as far as we're concerned. Not so for Homer and the ancient Greeks; Achilleus retains his nobility, though it is clouded by sins. He receives partial pardons and rationalizations. From our perspective, we view him as maybe the original anti-hero. Homer's view is much less ambivalent, and Achilleus gets away with things for which lesser men would go straight to Tartaros without passing 'Go'. It's a far cry from our 21st century Western concept of nobility and our love of 'rags to riches' fables. It's only riches to riches here (though maybe no one knew through the rags that you were really rich).

So what is Homer's message? The conclusion of my barely-better-than-cursory reading is: Given that nobility and greatness are natural, almost literally gifts of fate (the Fates); and that humans are subject to the whims of the gods; it is best to be brave and seek glory (within reason--with a glance forward to Aristotle's middle-way ethic). How's that going to help you with your job or family? Not much. It's fodder for thinking about societal values and a long way from whether or not to stick it out in your mediocre, going-nowhere job. (It might possibly apply to whether or not you should run away with your neighbor's spouse.)

For most of us, 'The Iliad' is probably a test in proper exegesis more than someplace we should or will go to look for meaning. But maybe that's just my soap box ;-)

This morning's run

2010-06-08T07:18:00.002-04:00

Got up at 6 to beat the sun and heat. Wil's taking a break from running, at least for now. Running even as late as 8am has been hard on him. My number one goal is that he enjoy running. I'd rather have him take a break than come to hate it. I went to bed too late, almost 1am, so only working on 5 hours of sleep this morning.

Running this early, I'd forgotten the sun doesn't clear the trees in most of the neighborhood. So this morning was 65 and shady almost the whole time. Blissful.

First great song was 'Wave of Mutilation', tearing through it just like The Pixies.

Second great song was 'All These Things That I've Done'. You know that commercial that Nike used it in? Yep. Turning over just like that, heading up the long hill.

Third great song, to finish: 'We Are the Champions'.

Overall, great change. But also missed having my buddy with me. Ambivalence.

Ready to race

2010-05-15T10:09:00.002-04:00

Our next race is next Saturday, May 22nd: Going the Extra Mile 5k. Our training has been going well, but I've been itching to get out and run the course. Finally got that done this morning.

Runners will start at 8:30 and we started a little before that this morning, maybe about 8:15. It wasn't quite 75 degrees yet, but it's hard to believe it'll be that cool next week. Have to plan on it being warmer. The good news, in this regard, is that much, and maybe even most, of the course was shaded this morning. Again, we'll be just a little later and the sun will have risen a little sooner, but we can count on a good amount of shade. A lot of people were watering their lawns. I hope some of them turn their water on us ;-)

Starting last night I've been having this funky twinge in my left knee. It's not normal pain. It's almost like phantom pain. It hurts for a moment, but it doesn't. It didn't seem to affect my running. If I had to guess, I'd say it's more nerve-related than tissue or mechanical. Does that make sense at all?

I was a little worried about the elevation changes. This course is a lot more hilly than our last race (which was almost ideally flat). However, in practice, it didn't feel that much different than our normal runs in the neighborhood.

We started out walking to warm up for five minutes, so we were already behind race pace. Then I took a wrong turn and probably lost us another minute. But we still finished the course in about 31 minutes! It almost doesn't seem possible that we were running that fast. We must run faster than 10 minutes/mile (6 mph) usually. I haven't been timing it exactly. We usually just run for 30 minutes. So, we will be shooting for sub-30 minutes for the whole thing come next Saturday.

Notes to self: bring cold Gatorade for after race, hit the water table for one drink and one cup of water for my head.

Doubting Roethlisberger

2010-05-14T17:24:00.000-04:00

Two critical articles I read recently:

The Hangover: Roethlisberger, SI

Roethlisberger: Can't Cut Him, Can't Stand Him

Plus, could Roethlisberger's boorish behavior be a result of brain damage?

Right now what we've got is one more case of a badly-behaving star who says I won't do it again. Not least of all from reading these articles, I predict that Ben will misbehave again and that Pittsburgh will have to cut him loose. What do you think?

'The Autobiography of Malcolm X'

2010-04-29T20:29:00.000-04:00

+ I really enjoyed this book. Compelling life and Malcolm X impresses me most of all as being amazingly charismatic. Watched a fair number of video clips on YouTube and he's almost mesmerizing to me. In interviews, he seemed to be able to absolutely disagree without making it personal. He remained polite. I admire that mix.

+ I agree with a lot of what Malcolm X says about the oppression of black people by whites. How can we ever atone for that? Should we?

+ Obviously, the stuff from Elijah Muhammad and Fard is crazy. As impressive as Malcolm X is, it's hard to believe he got taken in by some of that stuff. Not to mention the extent of Muhammad's ultimately-revealed adultery.

+ Then again, Malcolm X was very naive about areas of life he did not know. On one hand, he was a very hardened, streetwise crook. On the other, he was taken in completely by Elijah Muhammad and also by Islamic and African dignitaries. All of them could do no wrong, in his opinion.

The most evil people in history

2010-04-12T20:09:00.001-04:00

Studying Hitler and Stalin and got to thinking about this question. I know you, my friends, will have good contributions. Stupid answers like 'Bush' or 'Obama' will be deleted with extreme prejudice.

Started with this search and found:

Top 10 Most Evil Men
Top 10 Most Evil Women
Most Evil Men and Women in History

Nominees:

Mao
Stalin
Hitler
Leopold II of Belgium
Pol Pot
Hirohito/Tojo

My main criteria is body count. Did Pol Pot and Hirohito/Tojo get into the millions like the top 4?

What do you think? I'm sure there's much I don't know that you can teach me.

PS: reading 'The Autobiography of Malcolm X' now and wonder how to factor slavery in. More on that in a subsequent post...

Three things I noticed watching 'Iron Man' again

2010-03-31T20:46:00.002-04:00

1. They used the wrong 'reins' on the fake cover of Fortune (or Forbes, whatever it was). 'Tony Stark Takes the Reigns'.

2. The main terrorist bad guy, Raza, was played by the same guy who played the captain of the USS Kelvin (Faran Tahir).

3. Peter Billingsley (Ralphie from 'A Christmas Story') played Stane's lead scientist!

Flash Gordon!

2010-03-14T14:18:00.002-04:00

I really loved the 1979 Flash Gordon cartoon when I was seven. Oddly enough, it came on Saturday afternoons. In fact, I had it in my Netflix queue. So when I saw it at Target for $5, I decided to buy it to watch with Wil.

A lot of the show doesn't age very well, of course. And, especially as the shows went on, the quality drops markedly.

I really love some of the visual designs: Zarkov's rocket, Ming's ships, the Hawkmen in general.

I really loved the opening sequence, especially the music. Here it is:

Wil and I watched through the 14 episodes on this particular DVD and enjoyed it.

So it got me thinking I might enjoy the original Flash Gordon comic strips by Alex Raymond, and I sure have! Thankfully, our library has the first three volumes of the Raymond strips. Finished the first book last week and looking forward to getting the next volume soon.

Watchmen mini-review

2010-02-04T19:01:00.001-05:00

Recently re-watched 'Watchmen' and really liked it. Such a great adaptation of the graphic novel, often panel by panel. It was a little more violent, which I didn't need.

Also really liked the music choices. 'First We Take Manhattan' by Leonard Cohen (second song over credits after obligatory 'Desolation Row' cover) is new to me and I really like it.

I found the changed ending to be, actually, better than the graphic novels psychic alien squid-monster.

Really my only complaint is the original work itself. I deeply disagree with peace, even global peace, founded on a lie. Thanks for nothing, Alan Moore ;-)

District 9 (almost-haiku review)

2010-02-02T23:33:00.003-05:00

Really cool concept

Really worn-out, evil, soulless, arms-manufacturing, corporate villain

Otherwise, loved it

The post Xmas/birthday loot report

2010-01-17T13:09:00.002-05:00

Major kudos to Christine for managing my Amazon wishlist so well, as usual. Thanks, Purd!

+ PS2 Guitar Hero World Tour - Band Kit
+ Sid Meier's Civilization IV: Colonization
+ San Juan
+ Abraham Lincoln: The Prairie Years & the War Years
+ Counterfeit Gods: The Empty Promises of Money, Sex, and Power, and the Only Hope that Matters
+ The Legend of Sigurd and Gudrun
+ The Mind of the Maker
+ Amazon gift certificate

Great, great haul. Thanks to all who contributed :-)

Sermon: Why you (and I) are almost certainly greedy

2010-01-03T10:37:00.002-05:00

Treasure vs. Money

Greed is a particularly dangerous sin because it hides in our hearts while binding us to our materialistic desires. Money has tremendous power over us: for some it is our significance, for others it is our security. We can break free from our slavery to money by treasuring Jesus, who was willing to pay the ultimate price so that we may be his ultimate treasure.

Matthew 6:19-34

How money exercises power over us, why, and how we break it.

What does the eye section mean here?

If your eyes aren't working, whether there's light or not, you are in darkness. cf Luke 12.13-34.

Materialism is an inordinate desire or dependence on money and material things.

And materialism has the peculiar effect of blinding you spiritually, of distorting the way you see things. It has a power over the way you see everything.

Materialism has the power to blind you to materialism. We don't think it's true of us. That's why Jesus says it's an 'eye' sin. Greed hides itself and blinds us. We all have friends or relatives who are 'more greedy' than us. If we say 'this does not apply to me', that's a very bad sign.

Some of us choose jobs just for the money. We work for a few years and then find ourselves empty.

Some of us work for companies that exploit people. We're not trying to do it. We're just not asking questions. 'Is my company hurting people?'

As professionals, we rub shoulders with people who make a lot more money than we do, and that makes us think we can't possibly be rich or greedy. We don't ask 'Do I really need to be spending this much money on home, apartment, clothes, etc?' We don't say 'Aren't there ways I could be giving more?'

In 1635 the First Congregational Church of Boston disciplined Robert Cain for greed because he was making a 6% profit on his goods and they had set the maximum at 4%. The good thing here is the accountability. What accountability do you have for your spending? Who can challenge you on money?

Jesus talks about money all the time.

Money has the power to keep you from asking hard questions about how you make it and how you spend it.

Why?

We live in the most wealthy society in the history of the world. 70% of the world's wealth is in the hands of 5% and being a professional puts you in the top 20% of the 5%. Is there anyone in this room who dares to say 'I really am doing just fine when it comes to material things. I couldn't give anymore away than I already do. I couldn't live any more simply. I couldn't be more generous with my money.'

The rest of the world knows better. They look at us and say 'There are so many good things you could be doing in this world if you just didn't think you had to have that gadget.'

It's astounding that we live in this place and time and won't even think about the possibility that we are greedy. That shows the power of greed.

Why?

Where you treasure is, there is your heart also. The place where your heart really rests is revealed by money. For many of us, money is a way of getting significance. It's why we spend it on ourselves too much and don't give it away like we should. Where we live, where we can afford to eat, the social circles we move in make us feel more important.

We have a tendency to look at those who are below us economically and say 'You are below me.' And you don't have to be very rich. Middle class people feel superior to the poor. Do you really think you'd be that much better if you'd started in the same circumstances?

Significance, approval, importance
Security, control, safety

For others, money is their security.

Why are you not radically generous? Are you giving away an amazing amount of money?

Jesus says 'running after these things can't add a minute to your life'.

Addison Leach story (second husband of Elisabeth Eliot): 2 college girls became Christians and wanted to be missionaries. Their parents said 'You've had a religious experience; how wonderful. But you need some security: a Master's degree, a job or two to get your career off the ground, and some money in the bank for security.' The girls came back and said 'what should we say?'. Leach said 'One day a trapdoor is going to open and you're going to fall into the Everlasting Arms or nothing at all. You think a Master's degree's going to give you some security.'

People who look to money for their significance [and succeed] become arrogant people that nobody likes. And people who look to money for their security can't stop death, tragedy, broken relationships.

So how do we break the power of money in our lives? How do we get to the place where we're really radically generous? How do we get to the place where we're not worried about money?

Literally: don't treasure earthly treasures but treasure heavenly treasure.

To treasure something means 'If I have this, it's all worth it. If I have this, I'm worth it.'

Everybody's got something: money, career, status, romance. 'If I have this, it'll all be worth it.'

Lord of the Rings. The One Ring. Whoever has it calls it 'the Precious'.

Anything that your soul treasures, you will pay any price for it.

Every treasure but Jesus will insist that you die to purchase it. Jesus is the one treasure who dies to purchase us.

How do we treasure Jesus?

Jesus dies for us because we are His Precious. He died for us because He said 'if I have them, it'll all be worth it'.

How do you react to rich people? Many of us resent rich people and feel morally superior to them. That shows that money still has power over us. It shows a lack of awareness of spiritual wealth and a lack of humility.

If you envy and honor rich people, money also has power over you.

Awareness of our sin should keep us humble and not needing to feel superior to rich people. Awareness of God's love for us should keep us from feeling inferior to rich people, like they have some great thing we don't have. Money doesn't compare to the riches we have in Christ.

Respecting poor people is another sign that money doesn't have power over you.

Third sign money no longer has power over you is being really generous.

'If your eye is good' - Greek word translated 'good' here can also be translated 'generous'. 'If you have a generous eye.'

How much should we give? Jesus gave everything. He gave sacrificially.

Use the tithe if that requires sacrifice for you. If it doesn't, you'll have to give more.

Old letter: 'We [Xians] share our table with all, but we do not share out bed with all.' We're promiscuous with our money, but not with our bodies.

Which kind of person benefits their neighborhood more?

I got yer Christmas music right here

2009-12-12T07:16:00.000-05:00

My favorite Xmas collection 4 years running is Sufjan Stevens' 5 disc set. Here are the last 3 years' posts:

+ That was the best Christmas album ever!
+ That was the best Christmas album ever! (again)
+ That was the best Xmas album ever! [now with songs!]

If you're at all like me, you will certainly want to buy these discs. To find out, you can stream the whole thing here: http://xmas.asthmatickitty.com/. Click on 'Musical Downloads'.

My second favorite Xmas album is 'A Charlie Brown Christmas'. I realized a couple of days ago that I hadn't listened to it yet this season, so I fixed it.

I like some of the stuff on the Aimee Mann, Sarah Maclachlan and Barenaked Ladies Xmas albums...

Another great source for Xmas music (from hipsters): http://hypem.com/search/christmas/1/

Then I needed to listen to the early Messiah stuff (OT texts). Did that Thursday night.

You might enjoy the Wartburg Choir's Xmas album: Stille Nacht.

Now I'm just listening to my 200-some Xmas tunes on random play, but I might listen to more by album.

Sherman, set the Wayback Machine

2009-12-02T23:31:00.002-05:00

If you want to take a trip down memory lane, you can just watch everything this guy has, but here a few notable ones:

"Old School" CBS Holiday Special Intro

Isis Intro

Isis transformation

ARK II

The Super Friends Intro

Challenge of the Super Friends Intro

SHAZAM! Intro

Well, that's enough for now. Thanks to Kelly for getting me started.

The best sermon on money I've ever heard

2009-11-24T08:20:00.004-05:00

The main idea: money is the bottom line in faith. It shows whether or not you've been changed by God's grace.

Listen: I know all this stuff, but, man, is this a convicting sermon about how grace should affect us.

Plus, there's no guilt in it. If you feel guilt, that's your baggage. Keller is not preaching guilt here at all.

Grace and Money

Acts 4.32-37

The grace of God - how it impacts our lives, changes our understanding and use of money.

The early church was very different from those around them when it came to money. Drastic, unreasonable generosity was an engine that drove influence on community around it.

The apostles' preaching was backed up by an unaccountable generosity. The people on the outside looked and said 'We don't get this! Nobody treats their money like this.'

252 AD: plague in Carthage. Healthy people left if they were able, but Cyprian called Christians to serve (including financial aid) those remaining without regard for their faith or persecution.

Emperor Julian wanted to stem Christianity and wrote in disgust 'Their success lies in their charity to all. They take care not only of their own poor, but ours as well.'

Christianity is a religion of grace and every other religion relies on moral effort.

Grace revolutionizes our attitude toward money, our procedure and the benefits of giving.

1. Grace revolutionizes our attitude toward money.

It's my money.

Christians say 'it's not my money'.

If people ask you for 'your' money, it annoys you.

Scrooge's attitude is changed because he's had an experience of grace - a second chance. That's not a lot of grace, but it's some. Scrooge looks at his money totally differently. He's gleeful and scheming about giving his money away.

The Bible says if you've experienced God's grace, you too will have a revolutionized way of looking at your money.

Money is the bottom line. It tells companies how they're doing. The Bible says money is the bottom line in our lives - how you spend it and what your attitude is toward it.

Scrooge has his attitude changed by the comparatively small grace of a second chance. How much more should our attitude be changed by Christ's grace. It is not a second chance. It is not just a model. (I could never live up to Jesus' example, if that's all there was to it.)

Jesus came and died to pay the penalty of our failures and if we receive Him, his record becomes our record. 'If you trust in me, the Father will welcome you as complete in Me.'

Lay your deadly doing down, down at Jesus feet
Stand in Him and Him alone, gloriously complete

Since that's so much more grace than Scrooge got, why aren't why so far beyond him?

If you have experienced grace, your bottom line changes.

Martin Luther used to get up every day and look up to heaven and say 'You are my goodness, I was Your punishment. You assumed everything I deserved and was so that I can receive everything You deserved and are. I'm rich. I'm adopted into the family of God. I have an imperishable inheritance. I'm going to shine like the stars in the kingdom of My Father. And even now I've got His holy power and joy has come into my life through the power of the Holy Spirit and it's begun to grow and it will eventually swallow up all my foolishnesses and all of my sadnesses and all of my weaknesses.'

So, we look at our material possessions and say 'This is a small thing compared to what I've got and will never lose. And you look at your material possessions and say 'This is all grace! I was in my grave and suddenly it's Christmas.' It melts away your possessiveness.

Paul says in 2 Corinthians, when he's asking for giving to hunger relief, 'I'm not commanding you to give. I'm just looking for the sincerity of your love for you know the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ who, though He was rich, for us became poor so that through His poverty we might become rich.'

There is never any need to lay guilt on a Christian to get them to be generous.

Rich young ruler: Luke 18:18-23

Is there anything else I need to do?

Jesus says 'Yeah, one thing: sell everything you have, give it away, and then you'll have treasures in heaven.'

He confronted him because He loves Him. 'You have a lot of money, but it's all going to burn up. If you have Me, you have everything - my record, my forgiveness. Unless you see that my dying love is your real treasure, that, frankly, salvation is not a matter of doing or adding one more thing to your good life. But, rather, it's a matter of throwing it all over and trusting wholly in Me. Until you see that if you have Me you have everything, you cannot inherit eternal life. If you understood that I am eternal life, your attitude toward money would be very different.'

Remember how God tells Abraham to put Isaac on the altar? He didn't really want Isaac to die. In fact, as soon as Abraham said 'Ok, You are the most important thing. If I've got You, I've got everything - all the love and wealth.' As soon as Abraham understood the Gospel, that eternal life does not come through adding but rather throwing everything over and having everything in Jesus; as soon as Abraham understood that, God said 'You don't have to kill Isaac.'

And probably that's what would have happened to the rich young ruler. If he had understood that in Jesus he had everything, he would have said 'Sure, if you want me to give it away, whatever' and Jesus would have said 'you probably don't need to now.'

What's the bottom line? You will always give money effortlessly to that which is your god.

[Then my god is myself and my own pleasure and comfort. That's what I give money effortlessly to.]

If you see that your salvation is in Jesus, then your attitude toward your money is 'I want to give it away in radical and drastic proportions. I want to change people's lives through it. It's not mine.'

On the other hand, if you salvation is clothes, looks, romance, status or security, then you're going to hold onto it and it's going to go effortlessly toward those things which are your real gods.

Your money is the bottom line. It tells you what your religion is, it tells you what your real salvation is. If the idea of giving great amounts of money away to the church or the poor appalls you, it shows that your heart is someplace else. If the idea of spending a lot of money on a new home sounds like a good idea because it is a great investment, but putting a whole lot of money into the poor, a whole lot of money into the church is not, it just simply shows you what your real salvation is and where you think grace really comes from.

2. Grace changes the procedure of your giving. Our giving without grace is passive and spontaneous. It's my money. I'm not looking for ways to get rid of it. I don't have enough of it anyway.

Most of us have to motivated by someone pulling on our guilt strings, like the Jerry Lewis telethon. Once someone gets through to us, through our passivity, we might give as much as we can afford. Cash in the wallet or bank account.

Christians are totally different. You will be active and intentional in your giving as a result of experiencing grace. Scheme about how to get rid of your money! 'Look at how God planned to poor out his riches on me! I'm going to plan, too.'

To be active and intentional, you have decide ahead of time how much you're going to give away, what percentage. It's a little harder if you have the kind of job where you don't know what your income's going to be, but you can still do some planning.

[We plan for retirement. We take out 6 or 10% off the top. How much more important is storing up treasures in heaven?]

The guideline in the Bible is the tithe, 10% to ministry and the poor. In an agricultural community, the tithe was the firstfruits. God got his gifts off the top. We have a tendency to fund out lifestyle first and then give God the leftovers. Instead, the Scripture says decide what you're giving God and then you live off of the leftovers.

Since, after Christ, we are more indebted to God, more blessed by God, it's inconceivable that God would expect or we would give less than the OT standard of 10%.

No legalism: Before or after taxes? I don't know. [But do you want to be blessed on the gross or on the net?] Does it all have to go to the local congregation? No.

If you begin your economic life using the tithe as a guideline for your giving, it's not hard. You just act like it's not there. But most of us have to transition, and it's very hard. It's impossible to do immediately and still pay our debts and bills. It might have to be something you're moving toward.

3. Grace changes the benefits of giving.

If you haven't experienced God's grace, what are the benefits of giving?

Jerry Lewis said 'If you give, you'll be able to look in the mirror tomorrow and say 'You are a caring person.'' It's true, and that's about as great a benefit as you get if you're doing it simply because Jerry Lewis got you to feeling guilty. There's nothing wrong with what he does. The kids need the money, that's the only way you can get it out of people who haven't experienced God's grace.

'Great grace was upon them all.'

The benefits are to others and to you.

To others:

People look for ways to invest their money in ways that will go on past their lives. Foundations and schools, but the future trustees don't share their values (like Harvard).

Lk 16: 'Make sure you make friends in heaven with your money so they will receive you when you come to their dwellings.' It's possible that some of you will come to Heaven and meet people whom you've never met that will thank you for giving to a ministry that pointed them to God. Money will burn up, but we can have wealth forever.

Go to your broker and say 'I want to put my money into something that lasts' I doubt that s/he'll think of this.

A billion years from now, do you want your wealth to still be with you? It's possible.

To you:

Some of you do not give as much as you should because you're worried about your money; you don't have enough. Some people can't give because they've got too much. If you can't give, money has you by the throat. You're so worried. Grace changes that. It makes you say 'Hey, He gave me His own Son. He's not going to let me starve now.' You're liberated.

Change your lifestyle so you can't do many of the things you're doing now because of your generosity. Then you'll be free, too.

Do you see the power of money over you receding because of your generosity?

Do you see glory being awakened in other people through your money?

Have you come to the place where anybody who knows you realizes you're different, incredibly generous, hospitable and welcoming?

Are you finding this a tremendously irritating sermon? So you think it's incredibly cheeky for a minister to talk to you like this? Does the idea of giving 10% of your income to charity or the church strike you as ridiculous?

You don't need to give your money away. You need to find the Christ that turns you into a person of radical generosity.

I'm not after your money. I don't want it. I'm after your blessedness. The Bible says it's more blessed to give than to receive.

If you're not sure where you stand with the Lord, we certainly don't want your money. We want you to find Him. Because you're in the same shoes as the rich young ruler. He thought all God wanted was for you to be a moral, decent person.

Christianity is never an addition to what you already have. Christianity is not just a little boost to make you a little better person. It' explosive. It explodes in your hands. It wipes away what you already have and puts something brand new in there. It says 'Jesus is your Savior entirely, you're save wholly by grace and therefore you follow Him entirely and it changes your attitude toward everything. Things that used to be very precious to you, you snap your fingers at because you've got Him.'

Don't think I'm saying 'Better give. That'll get you to heaven.' It's the exact opposite of everything I mean. You want to change your life, find Him.

[Keller applies this to nonChristians at the end, and that makes sense, of course. But I am so convicted by this sermon. I am not a cheerful giver, and, chances are, you are like me. No guilt: we need to find Jesus. We need His grace to change our lives more. He said 'You will find me when you seek me with all of your heart.' Amen.]

A few cartoons from my childhood

2009-11-19T22:38:00.002-05:00

I was looking up the Toothbrush Family (pretty cheesy now) and came across a few others:

+ Picture Pages

+ Fat Albert

+ Underdog

+ Peabody and Sherman (actually, a lot more clever than I remembered)

Fun :-)

Keller on absolute truth

2009-11-14T08:30:00.000-05:00

Absolutism: Don't we all have to find truth for ourselves?

Galatians 2:4-16, Dr. Timothy Keller, October 8, 2006

In today's society, absolute truth is thought of to be the enemy of freedom. But truth is more important than you think, freedom is a lot more complex than you think, and Jesus is a lot more liberating than you think. Surrendering to God's absolute truth gives you a deeper, richer freedom in every area, without oppression.

[NB: there's a small problem with the streaming file on this page. Simplest thing is to just download the mp3 that's offered.]

Foucault: truth claims are power plays.

Nietzsche: Hermeneutics of Suspicion

Jesus brings the same criticisms against the Pharisees.

If Foucault, Nietzsche and Jesus all agree on something, it has to be true ;-)

But, not all truth claims are power plays. Not all of them destroy freedom.

Saying no one has the truth is itself a massive truth claim.

Everyone makes truth claims. We have to. We cannot live in a world with content, without truth, without belief. 'Fundamentalism' does not always lead to oppression. It depends on what the fundamental is.

There is no freedom without truth (and it has to be a truth beyond 'there is no truth', itself an arbitrary truth claim).

Only the truth will set you free. Example: navigation. You say 'maybe that's true in the empirical realm but not the moral/spiritual realm'. No, we see people run aground on moral/spiritual rocks every day. Freedom comes from submission to the truth. We think freedom is doing what we want, maybe getting free from 'truth'. Sure, then you're free to run aground.

Freedom in Christ does entail constraint to Biblical ethical norms.

We can't just eat anything we want, especially as we get older, if we want the richer, deeper freedom of good health and long life.

No one is free to be great at music without the restriction of practice. You say no to the 'freedom' of doing whatever your heart might desire at the moment for the greater good of the freedom to play well.

Freedom is the presence of the right restrictions.

A fish on the grass is not free. 'Oh, I wish I were free of this water!' ;-) It has lost it's freedom to move, even to live.

Love brings the freedom of fulfillment and security and joy.

John 1: The absolute truth is a person. When two people love one another and rely on each other and sacrifice their independence for the other one, it's heaven.

Only one religion has a god who sacrificed His freedom for us.

Walter's CrossFit workout

2009-11-05T21:24:00.003-05:00

My buddy, Walter, is a beast. He's been working out at CrossFit in Austin and he recently got his own workout!

Here's the workout:

And here's the interview with Walt:

And, if you're still with me and interested, here's the workout at CrossFit Central.

Live Healthy: Catching up

2009-11-03T18:32:00.002-05:00

Don't worry. I've been doing ok. Just haven't been posting about it :-)

+ The best news is that Friday I was down to 199! New low for this effort. Took the weekend off (Halloween and all). Back to work today. Reasonably, based on how I've been doing, I'd like to lose 2 more pounds by Thanksgiving.

+ I've had this nagging feeling that I should be doing more body weight exercises on Thursdays. Tuesday and Saturday have been my normal days, and I'm probably not going hard enough to have to take Thursdays off. So I added up 10 negative pullups (really have been meaning to do more of these), some miscellaneous exercises from Wil's physical therapy (I do it with him sometimes, mostly as a means of supervision), some of the exercises that came with my new stability ball (that I got with my SparkPeople gift certificate for pre-ordering 'The Spark') and a couple more. That felt more like it ;-)

+ Rode >12 miles in an hour with my father-in-law on Saturday during the second half of the Iowa game.Considering how tumultuous that game was, it was probably for the best ;-)

Rode down on the Three Rivers trail and it was a beautiful day, but not too crowded. I really bombed the southern end, including the boardwalk portion. Fun to go fast!

+ Jogged 2.4 miles in 25 minutes with my friend, Scott, on Sunday. I felt good about my pace and endurance.

Experiencing a very little soreness in my knees that I'm paying attention to. Probably normal and nothing to worry about.

That was the end of week 6 of Couch-to-5K training. It was also the end of walk breaks. 25 minutes of jogging per outing (3) this week, 28 next week and 30 the following week. Then, the Sleigh Bell Trot. Will I be able to achieve my goal of 31 minutes (6 mph)? Stay tuned! ;-)

My incredible Iowa game recap!

2009-11-01T15:52:00.000-05:00

How did I not know about ESPN360.com, where a bunch of college games can be watched online, including after the game has finished?! Watching the second half that I missed yesterday starting from midway through the 3rd quarter.

+ Ricky Stanzi owes the defense, big time. He also owes Indiana for not being good enough to capitalize on all those picks.

+ So much less anxiety watching afterward and knowing what the score is and who's going to win :-)

+ Wegher's pretty impressive for a white, true freshman. You don't see many starting white halfbacks these days. Of course, a lot of his yards were after the blowout began...

+ Ferentz says he never considered benching Stanzi? How can that be? Obviously the right call, but the worst quarter of football of his life.

+ Heard Hawks will drop in the polls, but haven't read anything on that yet. What should really happen is that USC should drop a good bit and Oregon should not leap us. We'll still be fine with the computers, but who far will the voters drop us for losing to IU for three quarters?

+ Ricky is obviously a gunslinger. He can keep throwing with no remorse.

+ I found Bob Davies very annoying, but it's probably because of my own partiality. And I applied my famous 'if he knew so much about [insert sport] he'd still be coaching'. But here are some things Bob Davies said that I agreed with:

Hidden yardage. This is the way the Hawks win with such a modest (though clutch) offense (86th in the nation). Scoring Defense: 14th, Turnover Margin: 6th, Net Punting: 12th, Kickoff Coverage: 18th, Penalty Yards: 3rd. So the knock on the Hawks is that they don't have enough offense to beat a really good team (like those ranked above them in the AP. But look at all of these other ways they add up to beat you. Of course, it didn't apply yesterday...
The Iowa way: base defense and the next man in line steps up and plays. That's what you get with a good, strong basic system, offense and defense.
Iowa has reaped the success of sticking with Ferentz through some sub-par years (especially given the size of his contract!). Patience has paid off.
The Iowa strength and conditioning coach gets props for Iowa's total and complete 4th quarter dominance.
The wind really did make a big difference to the QBs. What was it, six picks against the wind?
Where should Iowa be in the polls?

+ Commentary on the Iowa RB injury succession. Maybe it's kind of like the Denver Broncos have been: the O-line is so good, you can plug in any reasonably decent RB.

+ Great job just riding Wegher at the end of the game. Wish the Vikes would have ridden Peterson last week against Pittsburgh :-(

+ Really didn't like seeing Ricky run and dive head-first a couple times at the end of the game.

+ At the end of the game, Davies says 'We've seen the worst Iowa football can be.' Not true. Ricki Stanzi was horrible in the third quarter. The rest of the team was pretty good the whole game, especially the defense. If the defense hadn't shut them down so many times, Iowa would have lost.

Ok, obviously the AP and USA Today rankings are out by now and the AP is a total rip off. You rank a one-loss Oregon team above an undefeated Iowa team with a stronger strength of schedule? Asinine.

A little more commentary for you: It's more than chemistry in Iowa's and Oregon's winning formula (furthermore, he's picking them to play each other in the Rose Bowl).

At least at this point, I'm not feeling greedy. I don't need Iowa to be in the national championship game or to win it. Like Kirk Ferentz said, our team doesn't look like world-beaters right now, but they keep winning games. Heck, I don't even need them to go undefeated. I'd like Iowa to win the Big Ten outright and the Rose Bowl. That's all I ask. Pretty modest, aye? ;-)

People I want to read this post and add to it (tagging in Facebook): Tyler Luebke, Phil Luebke, David Rodnitzky, Jason Streed, Andy Knox, Suzy Swenka and anyone else who loves to follow and analyze the Hawks.

Columbia Wave

2009-10-30T22:45:00.002-04:00

+ Columbia ranked 14th strongest metro. I always tell people Columbia's economy is diverse and robust.

+ Marks say I'm the champ of Google Wave. It has been fun to find my way around and give out invites. Found some new stuff today and added it to my Intro wave.

Tim Keller's 'Counterfeit Gods'

2009-10-30T18:55:00.004-04:00

Website for Tim Keller's new book, 'Counterfeit Gods'. Tim Keller is the most insightful preacher I know. Here's the intro from the website:

Success, true love, and the life you’ve always wanted. Many of us placed our faith in these things, believing they held the key to happiness, but with a sneaking suspicion they might not deliver. The recent economic meltdown has cast a harsh new light on these pursuits. In a matter of months, fortunes, marriages, careers, and a secure retirement have disappeared for millions of people. No wonder so many of us feel lost, alone, disenchanted, and resentful. But the truth is that we made lesser gods of these good things – gods that can’t give us what we really need. There is only one God who can wholly satisfy our cravings – and now is the perfect time to meet him again, or for the first time. The Bible tells us that the human heart is an “idol-factory,” taking good things and making them into idols that drive us. In Counterfeit Gods, Keller applies his trademark approach to show us how a proper understanding of the Bible reveals the unvarnished truth about societal ideals and our own hearts. This powerful message will cement Keller’s reputation as a critical thinker and pastor, and comes at a crucial time—for both the faithful and the skeptical.

If that interests you at all, I urge you to check out the website (perhaps including the introduction to the book) and consider reading the book.

Great Vikings game. Disappointing end.

2009-10-25T14:31:00.002-04:00

My thoughts progressing through the game:

Vikes are ok. Need to improve their tackling! They need to catch the ball, too. At least two drops in the first half. I don't really think they will beat Pittsburgh there. I just want them to play well. And, of course, I hope they win.

I'm finding Daryl Johnston very annoying. Is it just my own bias?

Two bad calls by the officials against the Vikings. We can't beat Pittsburgh away and the refs.

(The first return for a touchdown never should have happened because the tripping call that brought back our TD on the drive was bogus.)

We had it in hand, tie or win and disaster strikes. Not Brett's fault; he hit Chester in the hands. Not really Chester's fault, either. A few too many passes. Wish they would have run more. Something is bound to go wrong.

Credit to the Steeler's D. They kept fighting.

Oh, well. Well played, Vikes. We'll keep playing hard. Know we did a good job. Never really figured on going undefeated. Still in good shape int he NFC North and the NFC in general.

Live Healthy: Getting back to it

2009-10-23T23:11:00.000-04:00

I've been doing okay, I just haven't been posting about it.

+ The actual ride last Saturday was not great. Had to walk up the first hill because I couldn't get my borrowed bike to change gears. Seriously deflating. Tom was having problems with his bike, too, so we were hanging back. I finally started to get the hang of my bike, but Tom continued to have problems with his. After about 8 miles of struggling, he decided to just go back. But we lost quite a bit of time.

I wasn't dressed warmly enough. It was about 40 degrees and rainy and I only had on two cotton layers. I brought my fleece, but left it in the car. That was ok for going up the hills, but I was freezing going down hill. It became two bad choices: labor uphill but don't freeze, or coast downhill but freeze ;-)

Made it to the planned refueling stop. Had 1.5 Snickers and some coffee. Should have asked Eric for his windbreaker before we left. Asked him back on the road if I could borrow it at the next stop (which did happen).

I forget when we made the decision to shorten the ride. We were supposed to be meeting some people for dinner at 5:30 and it was going to start getting dark. The final mileage was a little over 30 miles. We had to settle for 40 km for Bryan's 40th birthday instead of 40 miles, but these things happen. Don't know if I could have made the full 40, the way things went. I think I could have if I'd had a better start...

Thankfully, most of the last part of the ride was flat or downhill because my legs were gone. Limped to the end.

It took me quite a while to recover. I continued to shiver some while we waited at the restaurant for a seat. Maybe it was from being cold, but I felt like it was more from being drained. Maybe I didn't refuel enough as we went along. I wasn't incredibly sore the next day or anything. (But I'm still keeping my promise to take a week off of biking. Back to it Monday :-)

Well, that's enough of that. The main thing is: it was a good visit with my friend, Bryan.

+ Bryan and Sarah eat incredibly healthy! There's not unhealthy food in their house. So, I ate pretty well while I was visiting there. I ate a little too much and am back up a little on the scale, but that was all expected and I am not alarmed. I am getting back to my program now.

+ My primary training focus now is the Sleigh Bell Trot on November 24th. I will probably shoot for 3 10 minutes miles or 31 minutes overall. We'll see as we get closer if I can really pull that off. Started jogging again yesterday after taking 5 days off. Went fine. Actually was my 2nd fastest pace so far, 11:14/mile.

+ I never did get around to doing my September evaluation and a new October contract. I should definitely do it again for November...

The Power of the Gospel (through Tim Keller)

2009-10-23T18:35:00.001-04:00

Are you looking for something 'devotional', something to encourage you in your (historically orthodox) Christian faith?

I can't think of anything better you could do than to listen to all of the free sermons by Tim Keller that Redeemer Presbyterian Church has put up.

Hell: Isn't the God of Christianity an angry Judge?

Stream or download the mp3.

Hell begins with a grumbling mood, always complaining, always blaming others . . . but you are still distinct from it. You may even criticize it in yourself and wish you could stop it. But there may come a day when you can no longer. Then there will be no you left to criticize the mood or even to enjoy it, but just the grumble itself, going on forever like a machine. It is not a question of God 'sending us' to hell. In each of us there is something growing, which will BE Hell unless it is nipped in the bud.

- CS Lewis, The Great Divorce, ch 9

'Hell is just a freely-chosen identity based on something else beside God going on forever.'

'There are only two kinds of people in the end: those who say to God 'Thy will be done' and those to whom God says in the end 'thy will be done'.'

His discussion of Miroslav Wolf is amazing and typical Keller: he performs judo on the typically liberal mindset of peace without justice. There is no basis for non-violence unless you believe that God will ultimately be just. If you've seen your family raped and killed (eg, the Balkans), you want justice and not liberal non-violent blather from the comfort of their suburban existence.

Fear of hell won't keep us out of it.

Naked miracles won't convince us. Sometimes we think a miracle would convince us to believe in God. Wrong. The Bible is full of miracles, OT and NT, followed by people who did not believe and love and obey. In some ways, Jesus had to come because miracles do not work. Only love will draw us to God from ourselves and an eternity of Hell.

Jesus talks about Hell more than anyone else in the Bible. Why? Because He took it. 'He descended into Hell.'

Five little links

2009-10-15T08:45:00.003-04:00

Cleaning out my tabs. Have I mentioned I'm on staycation? Woot!

+ Use pitch tracking technology to call strikes in pro baseball games

+ Once I learned what 'vomitoria' were, I figured what I'd heard previously about them was a myth.

+ Recent article on Gamecocks' comparative success.

+ Limbaugh gets dropped from Rams bid. Couldn't have happened to a nicer guy.

+
Pack QB Rodgers Won't Criticize Porous Protection. What I said before: he's good, but the o-line has problems. The quotes in this article make it sound like there's a little dissension in the locker room. Seems dumb of McCarthy to say Rodgers is holding it too long when the o-line sucks so much. Kid's doing about all he can.

Live Healthy: The hardest thing?

2009-10-14T16:27:00.003-04:00

When I lose this weight, will it be the hardest thing I've ever done?

On the one hand, yes: I can't think of anything I've tried and failed at so much.

On the other hand, surely not. I've done other hard things, right? Earning my Master's degree required a lot of perseverance.

What do you think? Is losing weight so hard? Is it hard for you? Am I forgetting something harder?

Diary

Down to 200.5 on the scale today, so that's good, but I'm not counting it until I get to 200. Gotta' keep fighting it down!

Exercise is still going well. I rode 20 miles again on Sunday and I feel ready for my 40 mile ride coming up. I jogged 2.6 miles last night at the fastest pace I've done so far: 11:18 min/mi. That included a 1 minute walk break for every 4 minutes of jogging. One more jog and two more rides before my 40 miles ride coming up. Feeling good about it.

My preliminary goal for jogging is to get back to 3 miles in 30 minutes (comfortably and conversationally). Doubt I'll reach the comfortable part by the Sleigh Bell Trot on 11/24, but we'll see. If the training continues to go ok, I'll probably shoot for 3 miles in 30 minutes even if it wipes me out.

Oh, yeah. By the way, I did register for the Sleigh Bell Trot 5K. Crazy ;-)

Something I'm wondering about (that I've maybe written about before): Is it harder to lose weight when you're working out so much? In effect, I'm pursuing two goals at once: better fitness and weight loss. Working out can certainly make you hungrier (though I think I've been doing a pretty good job of not eating everything in sight ;-)

For example, Saturday and Sunday I burned about 1000 calories in exercise alone. But then you have to be disciplined to not overeat. It was kind of fun to have second breakfast, though, both days. Saturday was cold pizza and Sunday was 500 calories of toast, cheese and cashews. Hit the spot! :-)

Coming around on Obama's Nobel

2009-10-10T07:11:00.002-04:00

I was stunned to wake up yesterday and read BHO has won the Nobel Peace Prize. Here's what I wrote on Facebook:

wow. i like BHO, but i find this pretty shocking. surely there were nominees who were more deserving...

i guess it just goes to show how much the world wants America back as a team player.

can this also be construed as backhanded commentary against GWB?

Furthermore, I commented on a lot of other people's posts that I just couldn't see it and didn't agree.

But a couple different perspectives are bringing me back around.

1. Obama's stunning Nobel win

But this prize isn't about political partisanship inside the U.S. Again, it was a clear signal from an old friend.

As usual, though, America is too obsessed with itself to notice.

2. Obama's Nobel--on second thought

So when you step out of the American perspective, you understand just how much the world appreciates the shift he's accomplished in such a short time--and at such a dangerous time.

We have made amends, and the world replied with "thank you."

Shows you what a nice apology can do--even for the world's sole superpower.

...

Some grace is called for, though. We've been in this endzone before. No need to act like boors.

3. Christine felt it was a sign of the world's gratitude for our change and I take her opinion seriously :-)

4. A slightly different perspective on the Prize

However, the fact is that there are billions of people in the world (people with different political and cultural baggage than most Americans) who definitely see Obama as a larger than life man of peace -- not because of what he has done or will do but because of who he is and what he represents.

President Obama is a person of color in one of the most powerful positions in the world. To much (most?) of the world this is more encouraging than peace-treaties or development projects for the poor -- as important as those things might be. To the poor of the world our president signals a new era where even a dark-skinned person can get ahead in life. To them that is hope. That is peace!

Americans just don't realize how big a deal this is for the rest of the world.

Might it be that our definition of what constitutes peacemaking is too insular and narrow -- too exclusively Western -- too lacking in shalom?

5. Finally, I liked the opening of Obama's speech. Nice and humble:

Good morning. Well, this is not how I expected to wake up this morning. After I received the news, Malia walked in and said, "Daddy, you won the Nobel Peace Prize, and it is Bo's birthday!" And then Sasha added, "Plus, we have a three-day weekend coming up." So it's good to have kids to keep things in perspective.

I am both surprised and deeply humbled by the decision of the Nobel Committee. Let me be clear: I do not view it as a recognition of my own accomplishments, but rather as an affirmation of American leadership on behalf of aspirations held by people in all nations.

To be honest, I do not feel that I deserve to be in the company of so many of the transformative figures who've been honored by this prize -- men and women who've inspired me and inspired the entire world through their courageous pursuit of peace.

But I also know that this prize reflects the kind of world that those men and women, and all Americans, want to build -- a world that gives life to the promise of our founding documents. And I know that throughout history, the Nobel Peace Prize has not just been used to honor specific achievement; it's also been used as a means to give momentum to a set of causes. And that is why I will accept this award as a call to action -- a call for all nations to confront the common challenges of the 21st century.

If you know me well, you know I hate being wrong, but I feel like I was yesterday, that I kind of over-reacted. Oh well :-)

Live Healthy: Do diets work?

2009-10-07T18:58:00.001-04:00

I've been thinking about it a lot and I've found a point of disagreement with Gwen Shamblin's 'Weigh Down Diet' and Bethenny Frankel's 'Naturally Thin'.

Both are quite strong in their arguments that diets don't work, period, and this includes counting calories. Then they recommend their systems which focus more on mindful eating, not eating until you're hungry, stopping when you're full and other 'rules' like that (Frankel calls her guidelines 'rules').

My theory is that it's true: diets don't work when the diet is looked to as a temporary, almost magical fix so I can get the weight down and then go back to 'normal' life. Diets don't work when they entail bizarre, unhealthy or unsustainable eating.

To me, the key factor in successful weight loss (which I haven't even yet achieved, not to mention maintained, so take it with a block of salt) is willingness to make a lifestyle change: what I've done before does not work. I'm going to change my life, especially my outlook, eating and exercise. And, when I'm done, my behavior if not going to change much. I'll be able to eat a little more than when I was losing weight, but, if I want to keep it off, I'll still be working the new lifestyle and not returning to the old one.

Counter-evidence to WD and Naturally Thin: there are a lot of people on SparkPeople who have lost weight and kept it off in a program that includes counting calories.

I read recently (though I can't remember where) that most people who successfully lose weight try and fail a number of times (six or seven?) before they succeed. This is certainly true of my own experience and I would say it matches up with trying to find quick, magical fixes and finally getting fed up and ready to change lifestyle.

To be clear, my theory is that willingness to make a lifestyle change is the key to weight loss. Once that point is reached, there are probably many healthy 'diets' (where 'diet' is construed in its broadest sense of 'what you eat') that will work for weight loss and maintenance. The key may be finding what approach works best for you.

Personal update

I have suffered a minor weight setback due to a lot of exceptional socializing, mostly around football. Went to the Gamecocks game Saturday night with my brother and ate game food. Then went to a bar Monday night to watch the Vikes (I don't have ESPN) and had some tortilla chips and a couple drinks. Tonight's the last soiree for a while and then I'll be back on plan for at least a week and a half. I'm a little disappointed in the lapses and in going backwards on the weight loss (203 this morning after 201 last week), but it seems most 'natural' (for whatever that's worth).

On the exercise side, I'm still doing great. Making progress with the Couch to 5K program; completed day 1 of week 6 last night.

Further, I've been invited to ride 40 miles for a friend's 40th birthday coming up. Since I haven't ridden near that recently, I rode 20 miles this past Sunday as sort of a warmup and it went pretty well.

I'm feeling a few tweaks in my left knee and ankle from all the training. Seriously considering going Gallaway (taking frequent walk breaks) on the Couch to 5k for the time being, until I get through the 40 mile ride. Then I can back off the bike mileage a little and resume my training for the Saluda Shoals Sleigh Bell Trot in late November. I know I could finish it now, no problem, taking walk breaks. The question is what will my goal be? Will I set a time I'm shooting for? Do I want to run it without walking? Not sure yet...

Live Healthy 10% at a time

2009-10-02T18:00:00.001-04:00

Here's a concept that will be front and center when I write my diet book ;-)

The 10% Solution

According to the study in the Archives of Internal Medicine, the average "Dream" weight loss is 38% of the dieter’s current weight. Also:

* a 31% weight loss would make the average dieter "Happy"
* a 25% weight loss would be "Acceptable".
* a 15.7% weight loss would be "Disappointing".

So the 200-pound woman who loses 30 pounds would actually be disappointed in her results!

I totally understand this way of thinking. In fact, it's pretty similar to my ongoing low-grade disappointment that my weight loss has not happened faster. But, friends, we have got to change our mindset!

Any of us approaching weight loss should set an initial 10% goal (assuming we have that much to lose) and not get too ambitious or freaked out about anything beyond that. Especially for those of us with a lot to lose, by the time we lose 10%, everything will be different ... for the better! So let's not get too focused on the whole number in a way that is daunting or discouraging.

In my case, my initial goal weight was 170 because that seemed reasonable. I don't even remember where I came up with that. I think it was a function of BMI and the fact that I used to weight less than that back when I was 28 and fit. Sounds ok, aye? Maybe it was.

But I've re-evaluated. I've changed my initial weight-loss goal to something closer to the top of the BMI for my height: 180. A nice round number and a resulting round number to lose overall: 30 pounds.

And, changing gears to the subject of this post, 10% of my beginning body weight is 21 pounds, which will put me at 189. That's a nice, firm, doable preliminary goal.

To their credit, Weight Watchers emphasizes shooting for a 10% loss first, but, when I was in that program, for whatever reason, I wasn't ready for that to motivate me.

More about things getting better: think about how much easier the rest of the weight will be to lose once you've hit your 10% goal. You'll be that much lighter and have many better habits. Your lifestyle will have improved.

Or, if you still have a lot to go, you can set a goal for the next 10%, which will be a nicely smaller number than the previous achievement, with a much better foundation. Sounds good, right?

So, what's your 10% goal? (You don't have to post it if you're too shy.) Does it seem more doable than your conceptual goal weight?

Live Healthy: Greed for food

2009-10-02T12:59:00.002-04:00

I don't think my problem with food is gluttony exactly. It's more like greed.

I think about eating all the time. I look forward to eating. I feel like I'm going to die if I don't get to eat. But then I wolf down my food, hardly tasting it. What is wrong with me?

It seems almost like I need to possess the food. Like I said: greed. It's strange.

I've read quite a bit about mindful eating and similar topics. And I'm terrible at it.

In some ways, I don't want to do it. I don't want to slow down. I don't want to make that effort. I don't want to work so hard at eating.

But the alternative is bad: eating my food without really 'tasting' and enjoying it.

Do you know the dynamic? I want and long to have something that tastes really good. Then I can get to the end of it and feel like I haven't really tasted it at all. It's just gone, down the pie-hole. I wouldn't eat something that was healthy for me, but maybe a little less full of taste. No, it had to be really tasty. And then I hardly tasted it!

Relatedly, both 'Weight Down' and 'Naturally Thin' recommend leaving some food on your plate. This is almost impossible for me to conceive, not to mention do. Leave food on my plate when I'm not stuffed to the gills? I might need that food! Furthermore, I need the enjoyment in my life! (Never mind that I usually hardly taste my food.)

I don't have any great answers right now...

Diary

Still doing well with my exercise. I've modified my Couch to 5K training a little to make sure I'm in good shape for next week's 40 mile bike ride. I felt a little tweak in my left knee after doing 20 last week and I don't want any interference. So I'm taking 1 minute walk breaks after every 4 minutes of jogging (unless I'm going downhill). Then, when I have succeeded with next week's 40 mile ride, I'll get back to the 5K training in earnest.

The scale's still stuck at 202 or 203 after doing a lot of social eating this week. But I'm hoping to see some good movement again soon. My eating, otherwise, has been pretty good. I burned almost 1000 calories today between jogging/walking, mowing the lawn and trimming the hedge. And I'll burn another 1000 tomorrow with my 20 mile training ride. The key, of course, is, having worked that hard, not to eat everything in sight ;-) I think I've done pretty well, though.

Perfect living healthy day!

2009-09-30T18:34:00.005-04:00

I thought my face looked thinner yesterday, and Christine said the same thing last night.

1. Exceptionally good news: down to 201 today, my new low (for this effort). Woo hoo!

2. Welcome, dear Autumn! I love you so much!

3. Seriously impressed with myself:

Christine and the twins were gone for the day. Didn't really want to eat supper here at home. But also didn't want to blow out that 201. Want to keep rolling.

Finally decided to make the most of this Autumn day and bike the mile to Wendy's, get a Chicken Caesar salad, and bike back home.

How about those choices for living healthy?!

Analysis:

The salad was just ok. And the bike ride wasn't that enjoyable because I was by traffic the whole time and it was hard to really relax.

However, good effort. Way to go, me. And I got some fresh air, right?

4. Rewarded myself with a glass of red wine when I got home (only 100 calories).

5. Went out for my walk/jog, middle of week 5 of Couch to Five K. Ran into a guy jogging, too, a little slower than me, and we jogged together. I was only 'supposed' to jog 16 minutes tonight (and walk 15), but ended up jogging 26 minutes at better than 12 minute mile pace! Yep, upon further review, figure I ended up jogging about 2.5 miles. Pretty awesome, aye?!

Furthermore, this gentleman and I made friends and I told him about SparkPeople. And we're planning on jogging together again.

6. Then did 10 inverse pullups to hit my upper body another time after yesterday (since I wasn't sore today).

7. Then did 25 minutes of yoga.

Who am I and what have I done with Sean? ;-)

Finished out September strong. Time to evaluate, type up a new October contract, maybe make a few measurements to chart progress, maybe test a few things...

Sure, I wish the weight loss were going faster (like Aaron and Chris :-), but I'm pretty happy with the package right now.

9/28 Football thoughts

2009-09-27T19:56:00.005-04:00

+ Happy the Vikes won, but not real impressed. Took a 50 yard pass with 2 seconds left against the Niners (who are not world-beaters, though improved) without Frank Gore at our place.

Take away one 35-yard run from scrimmage and AP didn't do much.

Here's something good: Favre's first interception was tipped up by the Vikes. He didn't just throw it to the other team.

Percy Harvin is really fast.

I'd be afraid to have the Vikes play anyone in Peter King's Fine Fifteen right now. He's got the Vikes at 3, which I find impossible to believe will be borne out by their future play, but I guess we can hope...

+ Didn't watch the game. What in the heck happened to my boy, Drew Brees?

Upon further review, looks like their running game was working pretty well.

Great fake field goal by the Bills.

+ Wow, the Raiders are really bad, aren't they?

Fumbling the ball and not being in range to try to get it back must be a really sickening feeling.

+ Yes, McGahee was a good pickup for my fantasy team.

The Browns are pretty bad, too.

+ The Patriots - Falcons game sure was ugly.

I think Randy Moss' injury is holding him up. He's not even trying for balls he would normally win.

+ I used to hate Cris Collingsworth, but I don't mind him anymore. He seems much humbler than, say five years ago, when he seemed like kind of a punk.

Clark for the end-around. Love it!

I still like Kurt Warner and wish him well.

+ King has Baltimore as the best team in football. The scoreboard sure looks that way, but I haven't seen them play yet...

Live Healthy: Feeling blah

2009-09-26T12:33:00.001-04:00

Have you noticed I haven't written in a few days? I've been feeling pretty blah in general, including specifically about my healthy living and weight loss. Not least of all, I haven't lost any weight since Saturday; totally stuck at 203.

Complaint: Why is my weight loss so slow? When I try to cut more calories, I feel like my body just goes into starvation mode and I stop losing weight. Why can Chris and Aaron lose so much faster than me? It seems unfair (wah! ;-)

Confession: I haven't been doing my motivation work, which it says in my contract is the most important part. Sometimes it seems boring before starting it, but it's not bad once I get started (usually).

This is no criticism of my wonderful friends, but I think I'm feeling a little less motivated from the comparative lack of interaction I'm getting on these posts. The first month was great, but we all seem to be getting weary of this means of interacting, at least, if not trying to lose weight in general.

You know, not surprisingly, even just writing this stuff out helps me feel better. I am living healthy now. The weight really will come off eventually. I am feeling fit on the inside, including my muscles. The outside just needs to catch up :-)

Drinking Just as Good as Yoga

2009-09-24T20:42:00.003-04:00

Totally ripping this off from Now That's Nifty: Drinking Just as Good as Yoga (via Barbells and Bacon).

I find it especially funny since I do a fair bit of yoga :-)

--

I don't drink ma' self, but maybe I should start. These guys look fit!

Savasana
Position of total relaxation.

Balasana
Position that brings the sensation of peace and calm.

Setu Bandha Sarvangasana
This position calms the brain and heals tired legs.

Marjayasana
Position stimulates the midirift area and the spinal column.

Halasana
Excelent for back pain and imsomnia.

Dolphin
Excelent for the shoulder area, thorax, legs, and arms.

Salambhasana
Great excersice to stimulate the lumbar area, legs, and arms.

Malasana
This position, for ankles and back muscles.

Pigeon
Tones the body, and builds flexibility and helps get rid of 'stress'.

(From an e-mail)

Live Healthy: It's looking like a beautiful day and more on Weigh Down

2009-09-22T08:32:00.003-04:00

It sprinkled a little this morning while I was riding my bike. And then I saw a full rainbow, so that was pretty cool :-)

Sort of goes with this new song I'm enjoying: One Day Like This. I'm a sucker for strings, high hat and vocal harmonies :-)

A few of the lyrics: 'It's looking like a beautiful day ... Throw those curtains wide / one day like this a year'd see me right (for life).'

Ok, today wasn't quite that good, but it was a nice start :-)

Doing very well with Weigh Down right now. The principal results has been almost completely eliminating snacks and only eating at mealtimes. So I'd guess I'm cutting out about 400 calories a day right there.

I'm also experimenting with not having a glass of wine every day. That's 100+ calories per weekday (I'm still 'indulging' on the weekend).

Down to 203 for two days, back up to 204 for two days. Some of this is just normal bodily variation. As I keep doing the right thing, I expect to drop another pound sometime soon and hope to reach 200 (or 199!) by October.

'Hunger' is such a subjective feeling, and so much of it is psychological. In the loosest sense of the word, all 'dieting', all sub-basal-metabolic-rate eating, is 'starving' ourselves. In those broadest senses, I'm 'hungry' all the time and I am 'starving' myself by eating fewer calories than my body burns in a day.

I have identified about three levels of hunger:

1. the initial stages: stomach feels empty, but there is no slackening of function. Anyone who wants to lose weight by conventional means is going to spend a fair amount of time in this zone. Can you take it? Can I?

2. hypoglycemia: I start to notice lower tolerance for aggravation. I'm easily annoyed. May be a little more irritable.

3. stomach starts to rumble. This is the eating threshold in Weigh Down, though not necessarily immediate eating (approximate range is within an hour, depending on what you're doing and how you're feeling).

(Not sure yet how close 2 and 3 are. I've been doing ok. Maybe I'll try to pay a little better attention...)

Strict Weigh Down would probably mean not eating at regular mealtimes if you're not at that third level. But I'm not doing that. I eat my normal breakfast, wait on lunch as late as 12:30 or so (I used to eat promptly at 11:30) and then eat dinner with my family, able to wait until 6:30 or 7 (I used to almost demand to eat promptly at 5:30). So far, it's working well for me.

The trick, of course, is can you get through the progression from stage 1 to stage 3? Sometimes it feels like I hardly stay out of stage 1, that I'm in it most of the time. In fact, I walked/jogged last night in stage 1 hunger and, let me tell you, that's a new behavior for me.

Maybe the biggest focus of Weigh Down is spiritual and I'm doing pretty well with it. I'd say it's helping me cope with the desire for food, especially between hunger stages 1 and 3.

A big thanks to Tia for recommending Weigh Down. I'm getting a ton out of it. It's gone from being a possible supplement to my weight loss approach to being the primary avenue, and a gateway to even a little expansion of spiritual perspective as well.

9/21 NFL thoughts

2009-09-21T18:47:00.000-04:00

+ Last year's breakout rookie QB/coach tandems (Ryan/Smith and Flacco/Harbaugh) looking awesome as sophomores. Serious franchise trend up. And you could almost count Mike Singletary, Frank Gore (who's the QB in SF (I know, Hill ;-)).

+ AP is almost perfect. Now I need him to work on ball security. Didn't Tiki Barber concentrate on that and really turn it around? And he and Brett need to work on the handoff exchange more after yesterday's little mishap.

+ Something you might not hear much about: Chad Greenway's (Iowa grad) monster day: 2 interceptions and 1 fumble recovery.

+ When AP and Marion Barber run the way they do, what will their longevity be like?

+ Also little know: Favre had a career high completion percentage yesterday. That's exactly what we're looking for. Now we need to play a decent team to know if we're any good. We haven't shown real brilliance yet...

+ Things aren't looking too different yet in Chief land. I think they'll turn it around, but sooner is better than later.

+ Man, the Patriots didn't look very good and the Jets sure did. And I'm having trouble forgiving Moss for that route he broke off and then didn't even fight for the ball. Could have made the difference right there...

+ Broncos are looking pretty good (albeit against two bad teams). Browns just keep looking bad.

+ It shouldn't be surprising, but I saw quite a number of amazing arm-strength throws yesterday: half-cocked, back foot. Some strong guys out there...

Live Healthy: That bike ride was not fun!

2009-09-19T18:49:00.001-04:00

This day began with really good scale-news: 203 pounds, my lowest weight of this effort! That's 2.5 pounds lighter than yesterday, and it's not like I starved myself. Probably a little anomalous, but the latest low point and I'll take it! :-)

I thought it was a pretty innocuous plan: ride the Peak to Pomaria leg of the Palmetto Trail, 6.5 miles one way, then back. Left around 7 this morning, found it with the directions, no sweat.

First problem: The entire non-trestle length of the trail was laid with coarse gravel. I don't know the grades of gravel, but I'd call this more like 'stone' or 'rock'. Two inch wide stones were not uncommon. This led to 6.5 miles of almost unrelieved vibration. It was that kind of vibration that makes my muscles itch. Do you ever get that? I used to get it sometimes when I jogged. I've never known what to call it besides an 'intramuscular' itch. I expect to be sore tomorrow from the constant pounding and the 'holding onto the bike for dear life'.

Second problem: I was the first person on the trail this morning and it was spanned by many, many spider webs. Now, I am not an arachnophobe at all, but I don't like driving through spider webs and I don't really like having spiders on me. I'm guessing I drove through between 10 and 15 spider webs that resulted in one spider crawling on me while I drove and two hanging from my arms(as three separate times). (That is, that I saw. There could certainly have been more.) I took to scanning myself like Thomas Covenant after riding through each web.

(Thomas Covenant is in a series of book by Steven R. Donaldson. Covenant is a leper and has to constantly scan himself for injuries, since he can't feel them.)

I started thinking of myself as the arachnicide (horrible Latin). Then, for some insane reason, I applied some of Tolkien's Elvish: Ungolcrist, the Spider Cleaver. Or, better (since I don't know the word for web), Ungoldring, the Spider Hammer ( I think that's a bad mix of Quenya and Sindarin).

I kept wanting to turn back, but then kept thinking, 'Ok, one more song' (listening to my exercise playlist, which certainly got me through, if nothing else by helping take my mind off the ride).

(If you want, you can see some non-exciting pix I took on the trail over on Facebook.)

Came out at Hope Station Road, just past halfway and was seriously thinking about turning back. But then I looked at the map and realized I could finish the trail and then ride back on the roads. I could do that. I could do another three miles of the trail, but couldn't face more than nine (finish and back).

Shortly after that, it started to sprinkle. I hadn't looked at the forecast at all. I thought, 'Man, this is going to suck. It's going to rain.' But then I thought, 'Maybe not. Maybe it'll just sprinkle.' And that's what it did. A little sprinkle is nice. It was a good moment.

Something I did enjoy: there wasn't another single soul on the trail in the time I was on it.

In retrospect, why was I expecting a smoother, easier trail? I don't have a good reason. But I sure was surprised at the roughness.

By the end of the ride, I was covered in spider webs. Particularly, I had lots of spider webs stuck in the hair on my arms.

Here's the SMap page for the trail ride.

Another of my mistakes (definitely a theme of this post): I thought 'I'll get to the end of the trail and I can have a snack to fortify myself'. Except I forgot my wallet :-(

Good: traffic on the road on the way back to the Peak trailhead was light.

Here's the SMap page for the ride back from Pomaria to Peak on REAL ROADS! ;-)

I am a little worried about my bike: I just got it tuned up and then vibrated the heck out of it for 6.5 miles over an hour. But, hopefully it'll be ok.

Not fun. But, I made it. I didn't give up, so it was not a 'failure'.

(Methodological note: I recorded a lot of the thoughts for this post on my Blackberry with the Voice Notes on the drive home. I love my Blackberry! It's got everything! :-)

Live Healthy: Bad days

2009-09-18T18:45:00.000-04:00

I felt like I had a bad day yesterday. Nothing majorly bad, just enough things to keep it constantly at the 'not having fun' level.

One of my relatively new strategies for dealing with bad days is to end them as soon as possible. Get the stuff done I have to get done and go to bed (if it's not too early). Write that sucker off and get a good start on the next one.

This counteracts what my unconscious strategy has often been throughout the years: lengthening the day, staying up later and later, trying to change my mood with something I enjoy, often including too much ice cream ;-)

If everything goes right, I get up at 6, do a little work, exercise and the day's off to a great start. Rebooted.

Now, that did not exactly happen today because it was still raining when I woke up, so I wasn't able to go ride my bike like I wanted to. But it's been a better day, overall.

Here's something I recently did to improve my chances of mindful eating. I realized I was quickly devouring my Skinny Cow sandwiches because they're a little messy and I wanted to finish up and get my hands clean to get on with the next activity (likely back to my laptop).

Solution: put the Skinny Cow in a bowl and eat it with a spoon. Problem solved. Sometimes little problems are easily hacked.

Diary

After all my bike drama, I took my bike in for a tuneup Wednesday and got it back yesterday. Looking forward to trying it soon. Maybe this evening...

Have you noticed I haven't written about my weight in a while? Still fighting to get back to 204.5 after 'letting my hair down' over College Football Start / Our Anniversary / Labor Day weekend. Remind me not to do that again, ok?

I'm currently at 205.5, but have been doing well with my eating the past couple days, so expect it to drop back down another pound any time now.

Live Healthy: Spiritual blockage

2009-09-17T18:50:00.000-04:00

I think I've been fighting some strange spiritual blockage in my work at living healthy. And it centers around 'Weigh Down'.

For some reason, I've had this block about finishing the book. It's sitting there beside my chair. I like it. I keep intending to finish it. But I keep not finishing it; never picking it up. Weird.

Second, I agree with the method. I've written more than once in these posts about how I intend to use it as my primary approach. And I totally have not done it.

This is a problem with me in my whole life. I live in my head so much that once I agree with a concept I often lose interest in it. Many, many times I don't go on to actually doing it. It was 'real' in my head. The impetus to act diminishes. I think this dynamic has contributed to the many times I've stopped trying to lose weight before. The psychological pressure diminishes and I just don't stay interested and motivated.

In some ways, it's almost like I didn't 'get it' with 'Weigh Down' until today (maybe). Don't eat until you are hungry (with hungry defined as your stomach actually physically growling).

(Excursus: Many of you will disagree with this definition of hunger, nutrition, what the body needs, etc. I'm not really interested in debating that now, ok?)

I have been defining hunger more as an empty feeling in the stomach or even mildly low blood sugar. And, based on that definition, at least in my experience, I am basically hungry all the time.

I have been eating at all of my regular, traditional times, plus some: breakfast, morning snack, lunch, afternoon snack, supper, dessert, (usually) evening snack. It's possible to do that and still stay at 1500 net calories for the day, but there's very little margin for error.

So, here's to actually trying to hold off eating longer and maybe dropping some of those snacks.

But for now, I have to go. My stomach just went off, one hour and twenty minutes after what would usually have been my last meal time. Time to eat a little something ;-)

Live Healthy: GPS tracking

2009-09-15T18:17:00.002-04:00

Ohmigosh. I am totally in love with GPS tracking for outside workouts. Here's how it came into my life:

The Palm Treo that I had for work finally died. It seemed like it had died once before, but came back to life. I had to get a PDA and I chose the Blackberry Bold.

Not to go all mushy on you, but I really like it so far. Some things I don't like as well as Treos when they had the Palm OS, but there was very little I liked about the Treo once it had gone to Windows Mobile. I do kind of miss having a touch screen for those times when it's most convenient, but I'm adapting ;-)

As you may remember from a past post, I was very interested in Nike+ and the way you can get data from your runs when paired with an iPod. Also very interested in iPhone GPS fitness tracker apps, but no iPhone in my future.

I didn't figure there were free GPS tracker apps for the Blackberry (because there were so many prominent premium ones), but I thought I should check and see.

I found SMap and it had a few good ratings, so I downloaded it to try.

Man, do I love this app.

First used it on Sunday without a hitch. Scott graciously joined me to bike the Three River Greenway. Here's the page, including map and elevation chart that SMap created for me.

Sunday, September 13, 2009 7:14:09 AM
01 hr, 23 mins, 12 secs

12.4 mi
Rating: Easy
Viewed: 435 times
by seanmeade

Average speed:8.9 mph
Max speed: 17.9 mph
Pace: 6:42 min/mi
Altitude gain: 233.0 m
Altitude loss: 241.0 m
Altitude change: -8.0 m

Wow, it's been viewed 435 times. That's a lot. I guess mostly from posting it to Facebook.

And here's my walk/jog from last night.

28 mins, 19 secs

2.7 mi
Rating: Easy
Viewed: 7 times
by seanmeade

Average speed:5.7 mph
Max speed: 11.4 mph
Pace: 10:29 min/mi
Altitude gain: 92.0 m
Altitude loss: 99.0 m
Altitude change: -7.0 m

What makes this so fun? I'm not completely sure. I really love seeing the numbers and the way they reinforce my workout. Not only were these good workouts in themselves, but looking at the hard data encouraged me, too.

Now, I'm sure no one is going to run out and get a Blackberry Bold to run this app. That would be silly. However, if you can run it, you should really look into it. They have versions that run on the Nokia S60, Windows Mobile, iPhone and Garmin. If you don't already have any of those platforms, but if you're interested in this kind of capability, Garmin is probably the cheapest way to get in.

I was considering getting an iPod touch as my major reward for losing weight. And one of my main interests was pairing it with Nike+. But already having this capability really takes the wind out of those sails.

The company's name is Sanoodi and they describe themselves this way: 'Sanoodi's vision is to build the world's leading geo-social platform for publishing and sharing content on the web and whilst on the move.'

At this point, I can't recommend Sanoodi and Smap highly enough.

So, what do you think? Did I pique your interest at all?

Live Healthy: Pushup Conundrum

2009-09-12T15:44:00.000-04:00

I am tired of doing pushups.

I've been doing 200 a week for a long time. Maybe a year. (Or at least trying to do 200 a week...)

Here's what I'm thinking about right now:

1. I could go back to the old method where I keep the rest down to less than 5 minutes. These seem better for building muscle. But, you know what? As much as I like the results, I don't really want to do 100 pushups in less than 25 minutes twice a week.

2. Or, I could go for the more spread out method, doing some pushups all the time, say sets of 20 throughout the day, every day. I'm more of a spread-stuff-out kind of guy. Here's a post about this approach to pushups called grease the groove. Since I work from home, this kind of approach would be no problem for me and would probably be good to get me up out of my chair once an hour. It would also help keep me warm this winter, right?

Do I sound desperate? ;-)

I like the sound of this plan but maybe wouldn't when it comes to doing 300 or so pushups a day. Hmm...

3. Or there are about a million other variations, but those are the two I'm weighing ;-)

Something good I did last night: got the intervals back down to 5 minutes between sets (sets include situps and squats).

I'd don't know, obviously. Something I'm kicking around, though.

Okay, I wrote all of that last night. Did 10 negative pullups today. Like Kathy's trainer says, if the muscles you worked aren't sore the next day, hit 'em again. I did my yoga today, too. Arms are feeling a little tired, so that's good. Might do one more set of pushups before I shower, just to makes sure I got the job done ;-)

Live Healthy: Two steps forward, one step back

2009-09-11T18:43:00.004-04:00

Didn't get an entry written yesterday, in part, because I spent two hours taking Wil to fencing and bringing him home. But something good is that, while he was there, I got my walk/jog in. Then came home and did my yoga.

Well, the bad news is the scale's back up to 206. It's been bad since I 'let my hair down' last weekend. Two times in the last two months I have taken a break from my diet, jumped back up on the scale, and regretted it. Hmm. If I were smart, what would I do going forward? ;-)

Other than those things, I'm probably taking this whole 'live healthy' emphasis a little too casually. Or, I'm not emphasizing it enough. It's weird: at the start of the day, I take it for granted that I'll be able to eat right and then I just have to get my exercise in. But, as you know, I've been doing really well with my exercise. And most days I do fine with my eating ... until supper time or after. I must not be hitting that 500 calorie a day deficit consistently enough to get the pound a week I'd like to (not to mention the accelerated weight loss that Aaron and Chris have seen!).

Of course, I'm also not tracking my caloric intake closely enough to know where I'm really at. Nor am I applying the 'Weigh Down' approach that is a little freer.

On the other hand, I want to live healthy and not obsess about the three digit number.

In a way, it feels like it's a hard balance to strike, but surely it's not a really small range. I guess, in terms of metrics, it's if you're at least maintaining and not gaining weight. Then, obviously, you want to lose weight sometimes. But it took a while to put on right? Otherwise, maybe it's just a matter of how patient you're willing to be in your weight loss.

I'm sort of thinking out loud here. What do you think?

Of course, I've you've been reading these posts you know that I'm quasi-bi-polar about it: I want to de-emphasize the weight loss, but get discouraged when it doesn't happen.

I really need to go back to my motivation step (in my contract).

Here's something pretty good: I've been fairly active on SparkPeople. That helps with motivation and keeping going some.

Also, I bought a watch for timing walks/jogs and biking. I had a cheap watch, but it was pretty well defunct, including a dead battery and one broken hole for the band clip.

Also, I decided not to jump into the Couch-to-5k program this week. I'm going to take one more week to ease into it. Next week I'll do 2 minutes walking, 3 minutes jogging intervals before going to the only 90 seconds of walking. I think that'll be better. I'm not in any hurry on this thing and increasing my jogging is not a part of my goals right now. In some ways, it's just to add a little interest.

Gotta get back to it: pushups, situps and squats tonight but, more importantly, revisiting my motivation.

Live Healthy: Rock out!

2009-09-09T19:09:00.000-04:00

What are your favorite workout songs?

Coach Nicole had another post over at SparkPeople about workout music: Play Your Power Song to Go the Extra Mile.

I got caught up in it and typed up my favorites from my workout playlist.

(Something interesting I discovered while I was working on this: I had a lot of duplicates. I thought I has over 900 songs on that playlist, but it turns out to be 760 ;-)

My Happy Ending - Avril Lavigne
Roam - The B-52s
Good - Better than Ezra
Magic - The Cars
Blow 'em Away - David Wilcox
The Waffle House - David Wilcox
Such Great Heights - The Postal Service
Float On - Modest Mouse
Sabotage - Beastie Boys
Video Killed the Radio Star - The Buggles
Rock the Casbah - The Clash
Murder of One - Counting Crows
One for the Mockingbird - Cutting Crew
Vindicated - Dashboard Confessional
Come on Eileen - Dexy's Midnight Runners
Seven Nation Army - White Stripes
Getting Away with It - Electronic
Unbelievable - EMF
Bring Me to Life - Evanescence
Just Let Go - Fischerspooner
Stacy's Mom - Fountains of Wayne
Traffic and Weather - Fountains of Wayne
Santa Monica - Everclear
Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robots - The Flaming Lips
Only Happy When It Rains - Garbage
Hallelujah Chorus - Handel
Keep Your Hands to Yourself - Georgia Satellites
Feel Good, Inc - Gorillaz
We Got the Beat - The Go-Gos
Sweet Child of Mine - Guns N' Roses
Welcome to the Jungle - Guns N' Roses
Kiss on My List - Hall and Oates
Save Ginny Weasley - Harry and the Potters
Everlasting Love - Howard Jones
Don't You Want Me Baby - Human League
Somebody's Baby - Jackson Browne
I Got You - James Brown
Been Caught Stealin - Jane's Addiction
Raider's March - John Williams
Love Will Tear Us Apart - Joy Division
Jesus Walks - Kanye West
Hot N Cold - Katy Perry
Somewhere Only We Know - Keane
All These Things That I've Done - The Killers
You Just Keep Me Hangin' On - Kim Wilde
You Really Got Me - The Kinks
What Do Pretty Girls Do? Kirsty MacColl
The Robots - Kraftwerk
Are You Gonna Go My Way - Lenny Kravitz
Can't Help Falling in Love - Lick the Tins
Somewhere I Belong - Linkin Park
Extraordinary - Liz Phair
Cherish - Madonna
Sick of Myself - Matthew Sweet
Enter Sandman - Metallica
Time to Pretend - MGMT
The Impression that I Get - The Mighty Mighty Bosstones
We Are All Made of Stars - Moby
I'll Melt With You - Modern English
Interesting Drug - Morrissey
Torn - Natalie Imbruglia
Wonder - Natalie Merchant
Forever in Blue Jeans - Neil Diamond
My Friends Over You - New Found Glory
Regret - New Order
Shellshock - New Order
Bizarre Love Triangle - New Order
Mr. Disco - New Order
Krafty - New Order
Man of Constant Sorrow - O, Brother, Where Art Thou?
Come Out and Play - The Offspring
Hit Me with Your Best Shot - Pat Benatar
Even Flow - Pearl Jam
West End Girls - Pet Shop Boys
Wave of Mutilation - The Pixies
Can't Stand Losing You - The Police
Gardening at Night - REM
1,000,000 - REM
Finest Worksong - REM
Welcome to the Occupation - REM
Exhuming McCarthy - REM
Disturbance at the Heron House - REM
Strange - REM
Disturbance at the Heron House - REM
ItEotWaWKI (aIFF) - REM
Oddfellows Local 151 - REM
Driver 8 - REM
Can't Get There from Here - REM
Get Up - REM
Stand - REM
Begin the Begin - REM
These Days - REM
I Believe - REM
Superman - REM
Radio Free Europe - REM
Pilgrimage - REM
Sitting Still - REM
Shaking Through - REM
Leave - REM
Near Wild Heaven - REM
Texarkana - REM
Harborcoat - REM
So. Central Rain - REM
(Don't Go Back to) Rockville - REM
Imitation of Life - REM
Airbag - Radiohead
Sleep Now in the Fire- Rage Against the Machine
Umbrella - Rihanna and The Klaxons
Tamacun - Rodrigo y Gabriela
Be My Baby - The Ronettes
Tom Sawyer - Rush
Limelight - Rush
Distant Early Warning - Rush
Send Me on My Way - Rusted Root
Rufus Xavier Sarsaparilla - Schoolhouse Rock!
Rock You Like a Hurricane - The Scorpions
Dies Irae - Mozart
Perfect - Smashing Pumpkins
1979 - Smashing Pumpkins
Today - Smashing Pumpkins
Disarm - Smashing Pumpkins
The Queen is Dead - The Smiths
Vicar in a Tutu - The Smiths
Stop Me If You Think that You've Heard this One Before - The Smiths
There Is a Light that Never Goes Out - The Smiths
Frankly Mr. Shankly - The Smiths
Cemetry Gates - The Smiths
Bigmouth Strikes Again - The Smiths
Chicago - Sufjan Stevens
Here's Where the Story Ends - The Sundays
Birdhouse in Your Soul - They Might Be Giants
Never Let You Go - Third Eye Blind
Voices Carry - 'til Tuesday
All I Want - Toad the Wet Sprocket
Refugee - Tom Petty
Ordinary - Train
Slacks - Trip Shakespeare
Toolmaster of Brainerd - Trip Shakespeare
Beautiful Day - U2
Elevation - U2
Vertigo - U2
Born Slippy - Underworld
You Really Got Me - Van Halen
Panama - Van Halen
Brown Eyed Girl - Van Morrison
Gloria - Van Morrison
Bittersweet Symphony - The Verve
She Walks on Roses - Vigilantes of Love
Goes Without Sayin - Vigilantes of Love
Could Be a Lot Worse - Vigilantes of Love
Blister Soul - Vigilantes of Love
5 Miles Outside Monroe - Vigilantes of Love
Baalam's Ass - Vigilantes of Love
Bethlehem Steel - Vigilantes of Love
Real Down Town - Vigilantes of Love
Earth Has No Sorrow - Vigilantes of Love
Port of Entry - Vigilantes of Love
Locust Years - Vigilantes of Love
Tokyo Rose - Vigilantes of Love
Black Crow - Vigilantes of Love
Taking on Water - Vigilantes of Love
All the Mercy We Have Found - Vigilantes of Love
Version of the Truth - Vigilantes of Love
Willingly - Vigilantes of Love
Glory and the Dream - Vigilantes of Love
YMCA - Village People
Macho Man - Village People
Blister in the Sun - Violent Femmes
Lawyers, Guns and Money - Warren Zevon
Pater Noster - Wartburg Choir
Pinball Wizard - The Who
On the Road Again - Willie Nelson
Pancho and Lefty - Willie Nelson
Old Dan Tucker - Bruce Springsteen
John Henry - Bruce Springsteen
Layla - Derek and the Dominos
The Final Countdown - Europe
She's so High - Tal Bachman
and lots of mashups!

Still here? ;-) How about you? Care to share any of your favorite workout songs?

What I've been reading about health care

2009-09-08T22:43:00.002-04:00

+ How American Health Care Killed My Father

This one is my favorite so far (sensational title notwithstanding). It's also the longest by far. But I really like the analysis here of the way our system produces bad outcomes. Killer piece:

Anyone with whom I discuss this [HSA] approach has the same question: How am I supposed to be able to afford health care in this system? Well, what if I gave you $1.77 million? Recall, that’s how much an insured 22-year-old at my company could expect to pay—and to have paid on his and his family’s behalf—over his lifetime, assuming health-care costs are tamed. Sure, most of that money doesn’t pass through your hands now. It’s hidden in company payments for premiums, or in Medicare taxes and premiums. But think about it: If you had access to those funds over your lifetime, wouldn’t you be able to afford your own care? And wouldn’t you consume health care differently if you and your family didn’t have to spend that money only on care?

+ Obama’s in the ER but he’ll get his reforms

+ My Take On The Healthcare Debate

+ 8 Questions About Health-Care Reform

+ The Massachusetts Model

+ The Myth of Prevention

+ Until Medical Bills Do Us Part

Live Healthy: When healthy becomes a headache

2009-09-08T20:39:00.002-04:00

I jogged too hard this morning.

I walked for three minutes, then jogged for three minutes. And since I was feeling ok and was headed into a big downhill, I decided to jog another three minutes instead of doing a walking interval. Then I started to think maybe I could get down to 2 12-minute miles, so I kept after it.

I think I was close on the mileage (I lost precise track). But I've had a headache all day that I can't shake. 3 doses of pain-reliever, lying down and resting, 2 separate doses of caffeine, 2 showers and even yoga for core relaxation! Blast! I hate headaches. If I wake up with this headache tomorrow, I'm going to be especially annoyed.

Speaking of caffeine, I'm going to wean myself off of caffeine again and go back to decaf. The major benefit this gives is being able to drink coffee throughout the day. When you're on a limited calorie diet, it's nice to have something to drink that has a little taste (you know, besides water). In the winter, it will be especially nice to have something warm. And I'm just not that crazy about tea.

One of the things holding me up from going back to decaf was the times I want the caffeine to help treat headaches. But I've been trying Folgers singles this week and I think they'll work fine for those occasions. And we'll keep real coffee around for when our parents come and think they need it ;-)

The last time I went off of decaf was for my really ill-considered liquid diet. Since then, it's kind of crept back in. It's not a big deal. I can quit anytime ;-)

Like last time, I'll probably go to halfcaf for a week, then maybe quarter and then be back to decaf.

Made the appointment today to get my mountain bike tuned up. I'll take it in a week from tomorrow. Looking forward to it working a little better and enjoying time outside this autumn.

Live Healthy: Random thoughts

2009-09-07T17:20:00.002-04:00

Just a few disparate ideas I've been wanting to write about:

1. I don't think I ever mentioned, especially during my September reevaluation, how important the support of my friends was to me. I was worried when I came up with the August contract that I wouldn't have enough support. I didn't have that 'Weight Watchers meeting' kind of component.

But, surprisingly, Facebook, especially, became a really good means of support. People who I never would have guessed would be interested have been some of my biggest supporters. We've really found some common ground I didn't know we had, and it is fantastic!

(Now, I realize something I have going for me that not many people have is >600 friends on Facebook, so I had a larger sample to hit the percentages. Your mileage may vary, but I sure am glad for mine! :-)

Something I did mention before is the importance of helping others for their sake and for yours (the 12th step in 12 step programs). Supporting and encouraging my friends has been very motivating for me!

2. Do you ever have to trick yourself into doing what's best for you? It seems dumb that we would have to do this, but I sure do.

I had a day recently when I had to trick myself into getting things done a couple times. I did NOT want to bike. But I took it one step at a time. First, get your biking clothes on. Then, gather up your stuff. Get the bike out. Helmet on, etc. Eventually I got out the door and biked and got back and I was glad I did it. Usually by the time I'm on the bike and into the street in front of my house I can face it. I don't feel so lethargic and resistant anymore.

On that same day, I did NOT want to work on a web project that I've been putting off. But I thought, 'I can open the editor and at least I'll have it open'. Then I was ready to open the file, even if it meant just leaving it open for awhile. But, you guessed it: I was ready to start editing and I got two projects done that I've been putting off and it felt great!

How about you: do you have to trick yourself into doing things that are good for you? How do you do it?

We have taken the home schooling plunge

2009-09-07T08:49:00.002-04:00

We had considered home schooling for a long time but just didn't feel up to it. Then Christine found K12's South Carolina Virtual Charter School. It's public school. They pick the curriculum to match up with SC standards and send everything to you. Since they're getting the SC tax money for our kids, there's no cost to us that wouldn't be a normal school expense.

The clincher for us was when I said 'Well, if you want to try it, what do we have to lose? It's not forever, and if it doesn't work out, they can go back to their regular school.' So we're trying it.

How's it gone? Well, frankly, we've been surprised at home hard it has been and how much work. Elizabeth and Wil are both really smart, always at the top of their class, in the Academically Gifted Program at Leaphart and above 95th percentile on standardized tests. We frankly thought it would be a breeze.

Probably the biggest adjustment is just to a different way of learning. We are hopeful that all of us will get better at this. Wil, especially, has had trouble with simply reading and following directions, so that is a growing edge for him.

Elizabeth was dubious about the change at first, but we think she's leaning toward sticking with it. Though Wil has some hard days, he keeps saying he likes it better than regular school. And we're confident that both of them are getting a better education, with much more individual attention, than they were getting before.

What did I leave out? What questions do you have?

Live Healthy: more biking drama!

2009-09-06T21:35:00.002-04:00

I made another decision about biking. Sheesh. How many has that been? :-)

I was actually thinking about how to enjoy this Autumn as much as possible, especially getting outside more. I'm so glad for the break in the heat and it's my favorite season.

And it occurred to me, I could still ride my mountain bike in the three nearby neighborhoods without getting into a lot of traffic. I might have to slow down a little, but that's ok.

So, that's the new biking plan. Take the mountain bike (not the road bike) in for a tuneup and continue enjoying it this fall. Jeez, that took a long time to figure out!

I even got my bike rack back (had loaned it to my father-in-law) so I can carry my bike around easier if I want to drive someplace to bike on a Saturday or Sunday.

We'll see how long the plan survives engagement with real life ;-)

In other exercise news, I timed my mixed walk/jog tonight: 2 miles in 24:30 and I made the first mile in 12 minutes. (Remember, I'm walking three minutes, then jogging three minutes.) Not too shabby.

And I looked up the famous The Couch-to-5K Running Plan. Happily enough, since I've already been off the couch for awhile, I can start in week 4. If I stay on that plan (no promises!), I'll have 6 total weeks of training until I get back to running three miles at a time. I think I'll stick with my current pace this week, then start week 4 next week.

Unfortunately, haven't noticed any 5ks around here i really want to run. Or it would be fun to do one with someone. I'll keep my eyes open, but it's not a major deal.

Live healthy: living healthy and letting your hair down

2009-09-05T15:11:00.004-04:00

What is the balance between living healthy and letting your hair down?

I've been letting my hair down a lot for past couple days.

My three brothers and I and some of their families got together Thursday night for the opening of the college football season. Not only was the food great, there was a lot of it that is virtually irresistible to me. There was a buffalo chicken dip that was amazing. Then we had bratwurst boiled in beer and grilled (I did succeed in having only one of those) with a side of tortilla chips and Rotelle. The drinks were Woodchuck green apple hard cider and Marietta Old Vines Red. Later in the night, we had brownie sundaes.

Needless to say, I enjoyed all of these foods quite a bit!

Then, yesterday was our anniversary. We had shakes yesterday and we're going out to eat tonight. I've eaten pretty moderately today, even passing up a drink at Starbucks this morning.

So, where does all this celebrating fit into healthy living?

One observation: the virtually irresistible sides the other evening were also virtually inexhaustible. It would have taken a ton of willpower to stop eating them. It wasn't like going out to eat where there is usually a limited quantity of food and I can pull the 'save half for later' trick.

But what I really want to say in this post is I think there is a place for letting your hair down and celebrating. In fact, if you're taking the new common model of 'how do thin people eat', they indulge sometimes.

Now, it will certainly slow down my weight loss, and I may certainly lament my celebrations later. The number on the scale this morning was not a good one. But it will start coming back down again soon, and a little bit faster at first, since I've been at 204.5 recently.

Over time, I'd like to get better at curtailing my celebrations a little bit, not overdoing it. I probably need to go into them with more of a plan. With the buffalo chicken dip and the the Rotelle, I really should have served myself some on a plate, enjoyed it and stopped when I was done instead of eating out of the bowl (obviously!).

And there is certainly a balance to be struck with not letting the emphasis on living healthy, including some celebrations and the de-emphasis on weight loss, become a rationalization. But I think this balance can be achieved and should be aimed for.

You can make a pretty good argument that such balance contributes positively to the maintenance of living healthy, that it helps make it more sustainable.

So, what do you think? Am I just kidding myself here? How do you living healthy with celebrations that include food?

Live Healthy: Nike+? iPod touch?

2009-09-02T18:13:00.000-04:00

Coach Nicole had a post about the Nike+ SportsBand over on DailySpark.

I've been interested in Nike+ ever since I read the Wired article on it.

Here's what I commented:

that article also includes a more precise description of how the device works: 'The shoe sensor's accelerometer measures the amount of time a runner's foot is on the ground, which is inversely proportional to speed.'

i'm seriously thinking of trying this as i plan on moving from walking to jogging. i don't need major accuracy.

another possibility for cheapskates like me who won't pay for the iPhone and it's expensive plan: i'm 95% sure you can use an iPod touch instead. it's not a phone and doesn't have 3G data, but it does have WiFi and can use iPhone apps. touch starts at $229 but requires no ongoing plan.

so, let's see: SportsBand or save that money for the iPod touch, which is 75% more? decisions, decisions ;-)

My September Live Healthy contract

2009-09-01T18:59:00.000-04:00

starting weight: 206.5
ultimate goal: 180
goal for this month: 200

I owe myself some kind of healthy reward for doing so well with exercise in August and doing ok with my other goals. but what do i want?

mindset, motivation and method

I am living healthy now!
more visualization

project w/C

post to weblog and Facebook
sign a contract with my family
invest time, including reading and note-taking

how do other people do it? what helps them succeed?
read over Evernotes
read in SP

record the psychology of failure. what makes me want to quit?
slow down. taste your food!
never eat to 'full', only to 'not hungry'
don't be afraid of hunger. a little hunger in the right context is the feeling that accompanies weight loss.
when i fall off the wagon, don't wallow. get right back on!

i used to wait until the next monday to 'start fresh'. maybe...
analyze: why did i fall off? beat it next time!

satisfy cravings, but with one serving, not half a carton
especially savor treats!
'strictness makes thing easier.' you don't have to decide.
systemic moderation
what are the healthy habits i am cultivating?
'We are rich in proportion to the number of things we can afford to leave alone.' - (approximately) Thoreau. this includes food!
goal is to make lifestyle changes. when i get to 170, i can add some calories back in, but otherwise, everything should stay the same, right?!
why do i overeat?

when hurt, depressed, sad, bored or angry

what will i do instead?

picture this!

eventual goal: 180 pounds (then re-evaluate)

(top of BMI ideal weight range for 5'11")

nice and fit (with all that exercise)
feeling better about myself
not being ashamed of being overweight
fitting into my clothes better
getting new clothes, or getting out old ones i no longer fit into, including jeans
doing my push ups and pull ups easier
improvement re: snoring, sweating and psoriasis

lose at least 1 pound per week
1. target 1400-1500 calories/day, recorded on SparkPeople
2. weigh myself daily 1st thing and chart at The Physics Diet
3. NO secret eating (eg ice cream from the carton, shakes when out by myself)
exercise 12 times per week (including mowing)

cardio in the mornings before work

alternate walk/jog, 30 minutes 3x
bike (road or stationary), 30 min.s, 3x

100 push ups, sit ups and air squats 2x (Tu pm, sat am)
yoga 3x (MWF nights)
mow for an hour 1x ;-)
start working on 10 pull up goal

negative and supine pullups

I will stick to this plan for my good and the good of my family. When I depart from this plan, I will admit it and get back on plan.

'you’ll actually burn more fat if you use any extra time you have to increase your lower intensity activity as much as possible with things like moderate walking, taking the steps when you can, and generally moving around as much as possible. The more time you spend sitting still, the more you turn off your fat burning enzymes and make fat loss harder than it needs to be.'

The last weight loss update!

2009-08-31T08:10:00.003-04:00

Ok, that's sort of a trick. Starting tomorrow, I'll be calling them 'Live healthy' ;-)

You see, today is September eve. Good bye, August. You weren't too bad. I worked pretty hard at living healthy and I saw some benefits. Today's the day to evaluate and reload for September, including a new 'Live healthy' contract. Oh, yeah: and I lost a few pounds, too ;-)

Had to be intentional to not put the weight loss first. It's still on the front of my mind. And it's still probably the number one reward I want to reap from living healthy. Little by little...

Some more detail:

1. My first goal was to wake up at 6 everyday, rested and ready to exercise. This was probably the goal I missed on the most. However, it also, ultimately, had the least effect. Its purpose was to facilitate exercise, and I did really well with my exercise. The few days I didn't exercise in the morning I was able to rejigger my schedule to make it up.

This goal will fade for September. It's starting to get a little cooler in the mornings, so I don't have to work out as early to keep from melting. The sun isn't rising until almost 7. And I'm pretty sure I'm not going to be riding my bike on weekday mornings anymore. (I'm going to try my neighbor's recumbent stationary bike as a replacement.) For September I will still plan on exercising before work. By the time we get to winter, in case you're curious, I'll be doing any outside cardio over lunch when it's warmer.

2. My second goal was to exercise 12 times a week and, if you've been following my progress, you know this is the goal I blew out of the water. I probably missed a couple times biking but, overall, I did really well with exercise. Good job myself! What should I do for a reward? ;-)

I'll probably keep this goal essentially the same (granting the cycling switch). In fact, I may even add a Thursday night workout (pushups, situps and squats). I probably either need more reps or less rest between sets on my pushups. You can always do more situps (abs recover faster and I didn't like my average test result). And I might do more squats just for good measure ;-)

In the challenging category here, Elizabeth's dance schedule (4x/week!) is in full swing and Wil is going to try going back to fencing (which is a 2-hour, twice a week trip, home to class to home). Caution to myself: don't fall for all-or-nothing thinking, as you're wont to do; if you can't do 30 minutes, do 10.

3. Weight loss and calorie control was probably my second weakest goal. I wanted to lose at least a pound a week and my average loss was only about a half a pound. I think I gave myself a little too much credit for eating moderately when I was actually picking up a hundred extra calories here and there. And, while I agreed with the 'Weigh Down' approach and thought 'Ok, I can do this', I somehow didn't actually embrace it and do it very much. So, I need to re-commit to these principles: 1. Seek God's help and then listen to my body ('Weigh Down'). 2. Count the calories as a record and for added accountability.

4. As hard as I worked on it, motivation was still my weakest aspect of living healthy, I thought. If you suffered through all of my posts, you're probably thinking 'Then why did he subject us to this!' ;-)

Here's what I mean: my motivation and mindset did not carry me through calorie control and weight loss and sometimes left me feeling disappointed about my efforts and prospects. This component is going to become my first priority for September.

For all of the good and great ideas I had in my motivation and method category a month ago, I just did not revisit them enough or keep them in mind enough. I defaulted to my unconscious impulses a lot. They are so much stronger than my conscious intentions. I will do a lot more mindset work in September (but mostly in private, so don't worry ;-)

Of course, they are going to be some disappointed, not fun or boring days. That's a given. I'd like to reduce them a little in September.

That's enough assessment for now. Tomorrow you'll get my September Live Healthy contract. Want to join me in making a healthy change in your life?

Until then, enjoy your last day of August! :-)

What is your Facebook friend/hide policy?

2009-08-30T17:02:00.002-04:00

Mine is to accept almost anyone I know as a friend.

However, any 'friends' who

1. never comment on my stuff or
2. never reply when I comment on their stuff or
3. have a lot stuff I don't like to read in my news feed

get hidden. (As you can see, the key term in my policy is 'stuff' ;-)

But don't worry. Hidden people can come back off the hidden list with good behavior.

Just put this in a status message, but I wonder how many people have me hidden. Sick of weight loss updates yet?

Things that make you go hmm...

8/29 weight loss thoughts: The boring edition

2009-08-29T20:10:00.002-04:00

Weight loss is often boring. I hate boring. Sometimes I don't want to brush my teeth because those two minutes are so boring. I think the boring-ness of weight loss has probably been part of the reason I've failed in the past.

Here's one example of boringness: I have lost .58 pounds a week since August 1st. And this last week I only lost .45 pounds. That is boring.

I know, there are things that can be done to spice up weight loss and, frankly, I probably need to do them.

But, to make it a little more positive, my average loss in the last two weeks has been .97 pounds.

I know, I keep trying to de-emphasize weight loss. And I honestly don't want to focus my happiness on a three digit number. And it could be worse: I could be at 210, or 211.5, my peak this month (after my day off in Charlotte), or even worse. So I should count it as a good month's work, right?

You know, it's funny. A couple days ago I said I need to revisit my calorie control and the 'Weight Down' approach, but I honestly haven't done it. That's strange. Do I just think eating right is going to magically happen? It hasn't for a long time...

A few more positive things:

I'm still doing really well with my exercise.
My inlaws are in town, so we're eating more extravagantly than normal. But, I saved half of my lunch and half of my supper for later.
I kept my August contract for weight loss
August is almost over and I have the opportunity to tweak my program for the September contract.

So, yeah, I'm disappointed that I didn't make my August goal of 205. But, I'm learning. I did lots of healthy living this month. I'm in a much better place than if I hadn't worked on it at all.

8/27 weight loss thoughts: To bike or not to bike?

2009-08-27T19:42:00.003-04:00

Why don't I want to bike?

Those of you who have been reading my weight loss posts know the bike issue appears pretty often, especially in the form of 'do I pay for a 75$ + parts tuneup or not?'

This morning I got up at six, did some work, and could have gone biking, but I did not want to. So I went back to bed.

One reason I'm wary about biking is that I don't like to ride in traffic. I'm not sure whether living in SC has anything to do with that or not. I doubt I'd want to ride in traffic in a more bike-friendly city, but maybe. We certainly have very few bike lanes.

We do have some new bike lanes about four miles away. I even drove over there one Saturday to start from a different place and try them out. But that route was a little more hilly than what I want right now.

So, anyway, the way I've been dealing with the traffic issue is to bike early and try to stick to four-lane roads as much as possible so there's plenty of room for cars to move around me.

And that was working pretty well for me. But now school is back in session and there is more traffic first thing in the morning. Plus, the sun is rising later, so there's less time to get in a ride before the traffic picks up. My easiest route (and therefore a staple for me) goes by 3 schools on the way out and 3 on the way back! (Though it is possible to route around one of them.)

Furthermore, it's going to be getting colder in the mornings, and I'm not going to want to bike before work.

I don't think biking has a good future for me, do you?

Are all of these reasons just excuses? I don't know. But I'm probably going to go with them and not fight them too hard.

Then I started thinking: about a hundred dollars for a tuneup for my road bike. That's probably about half-way to a decent stationary recumbent bike. And before that, my neighbor has one I can use that I need to try.

I could try to marshal my will-power and just go ahead and bike, but I don't think I'm going to do that. Lots of people say find exercises you enjoy, and I'm inclined to believe them. Believe it or not, I'm more inclined to mix in running with my walking than to make this biking thing work much longer. Crazy, I know...

8/26 weight loss thoughts: Caloric failure!

2009-08-26T18:50:00.002-04:00

Ok, yesterday was my first out and out calorie control failure. The other times I really binged were days off (which I have since done away with).

I was doing fine. Christine and Elizabeth were at dance (as usual ;-). Wil and I went to Chick-fil-a for carry out. We had a coupon for 3 chicken strips for him and I got the southwestern salad with grilled chicken. And we got a peach shake to share.

Still, it would have been ok, if Wil hadn't taken two bites and said he was done! Friends, I know it's wrong. It goes against everything everyone says about dieting. But I just could not let that shake go to waste. Couldn't even put it in the freezer to save it for later. It wouldn't be as good. So I ate the whole thing. I shudder to think how many calories were in that sucker. (You can look it up, but I'm not going to! ;-)

When I weighed in this morning, I was up a pound. Hard to believe that was from one shake in one day, but maybe. Before my shake disaster I was hoping to be at 205 today. My goal was to be at 205 by this Saturday. Will I make it? Will I have to extend?

(It wouldn't be the end of the world because, after all, I'm living healthy, and the weight will come off in time (barring any more shakes! ;-).)

Took another situp test last night, this time the President's Challenge Adult Fitness one instead of the SparkPeople one that rocked me.

And I did a little better. You might remember, these are 3.5 inches instead of 6 (in terms of how far you have to reach as you sit up). I did 40 in one minute to get 55th percentile. I'll be adding more of these nefarious situps into my routine, not least of all to do better on the tests! ;-)

8/25 weight loss thoughts

2009-08-25T18:02:00.002-04:00

Ok, the nitty gritty on what I'm doing to live healthy:

1. A quick note about all this writing: one reason I'm doing it is to help manage my own attitude. I've started weight loss and given up before. I don't want that to happen this time! And I've been so encouraged by the people who have commented. Thanks to all of you! Facebook has been an especially good place for this. So, in some ways, attitude management is my most important thing.

2. Monitor caloric intake. In round figures, if I want to lose about a pound a week I can eat about 1500 calories per day. The cardinal rules everyone prescribes for dieting are true for me: I have to watch my portions and I have to track what I eat or I will cheat.

Fortunately for me, I'm pretty happy to eat pretty much the same stuff. Then I don't have to think about it too much. I get my servings down and know what to expect. Most everyday I eat:

+ 2 servings of Honey-Nut Cheerios with skim milk, a cup of orange juice and a cup of coffee for breakfast.

+ 5 Whole Wheat Ritz crackers (1 serving) for my mid-morning snack around 10.

+ 1 serving of pita chips, 1 serving of hummus, a mozzarella cheese stick and 10 baby carrots for lunch.

(I add a little variety here and mix in popcorn, cashews and deli ham and mandarin oranges on a tortilla, so I'm on about a three-day rotation.)

+ 1/2 can of pineapple

+ Supper varies greatly depending on what's going on with the family and what Christine is fixing. We have done a great job of adding a lot of salad in at supper time. Sometimes we just do a big chef's salad. Other entrees include pizza (1 slice), loose hamburger sandwiches, pasta and salmon.

+ Also, I almost always drink a glass of wine with supper.

+ I eat a mint and chocolate Skinny Cow almost every day ;-)

+ Other snacks include yogurt and 100 calorie packages of popcorn.

+ I have no problem drinking water and usually drink at least 64 ounces a day.

Addendum: I've also been trying to approach my eating somewhat from the 'Weigh Down Diet' perspective which applies a lot of spiritual principles to weight loss. Here's a shot at boiling-down the basic approach to eating: God made our bodies to know what they want and need to eat. Learn to listen to your body and don't eat when you are full. Simple, right ;-)

I will eventually write up more on my study of 'Weigh Down'.

3. Exercise: In some ways, exercise has been the easiest piece for me and what I most had on the ball before starting this (hopefully last!) round of weight loss. Because I work from home, I have more time to workout. No time is lost to commuting. I commute from my bedroom to my office ;-)

So I have taken on exercise with a will. Since the Paris Air Show in June I have been getting up at 6 am to do cardio six days a week, either 30 minutes to walk the two miles around our neighborhood or 40-60 minutes biking 8-10 miles. I have been tracking my early rising at HabitCal and, of the 25 days so far in August, I have only failed to get up and work out when I was supposed to 4 times. Most of those times (if not all), I was able to make it up in an evening session or by moving stuff around.

I've been doing 100 pushups twice a week for about a year. At some point I added 100 situps and 100 air squats. Now I do that workout twice a week, usually Tuesday night and sometime on Saturday. I'm in the process of mixing up the kinds of pushups and situps I do in each set, mostly just for variety.

I do yoga three times a week for about 30 minutes. I really like this amount of yoga. I don't think I'd like doing it everyday, at least not with DVDs like I do now. I like that it's a different approach to fitness. It's also really good, obviously, for my flexibility and for my back.

Plus, I count about an hour of mowing a week as a calorie-burning exercise :-)

So, if you add all those up, I'm exercising for 30 minutes 12 times a week. Definitely not something everyone could do, but I can, so I am.

FYI, here's a link to my August weight loss contract. I'll be revising it and re-upping for September.

My new mantra: I'm living healthy now. I'm enjoying the benefits now. I'm in a really good place. (And the weight will come off in time.) I'm trying not to get too focused on the weight loss, on some target 3-digit number. I'm making a real lifestyle change. It's working so far and I plan for it to keep working!

What do you think?

interact

2012 Annual Loot List

Foreign aid analysis from the Center for American Progress

Will the real Margaret Thatcher please stand up?

Christmas Music Extravaganza

Comparing America's politics to Alice's Wonderland

Tim Keller addressing 9/11

Keller: The Meaning of Marriage

Happy Reformation Day

More analysis of the F-35 problem

My old Blogger profile

Keller's Beholding the Love of God

Wil's first program

Final RAGBRAI 2011 Post

RAGBRAI 2011 Day 5

RAGBRAI 2011 Day 4

RAGBRAI Update

Copywrong: The Case of 'Kind of Blue'

Champion's League Final

The F-35 Disaster

Our Elvish Names

Four Chord Song Omnibus

Will May 21 Be TEOTWAWKI? I Feel Fine.

The Young Victoria and More

Short Review of Thor (no spoilers)

Osama bin Laden Is Dead

Sermon notes: He Came to Himself by Tim Keller

Various and sundry Keller stuff

Sermon notes: Sin as Slavery by Tim Keller

Sermon notes: Sin as Predator by Tim Keller

Where Does Home Field Advantage Come From?

STS-133 Amalgamation Post

Nietzsche, Nihilism and More!

Notes: The Problem with Sparta

A Few Reviews

Trying to Get My Mind Around WikiLeaks

Would Greek City-states Be a Better Governmental Model?

Barca v. Real Madrid Thoughts

Can We Help Cyber-dissidents?

Download (and Backup) Your Facebook Content

Obama on 'The Daily Show'

'Troy' Thoughts

Confucius: Something More Important than Voting

Mini-Iliad Review: Because You Demanded It!

This morning's run

Ready to race

Doubting Roethlisberger

'The Autobiography of Malcolm X'

The most evil people in history

Three things I noticed watching 'Iron Man' again

Flash Gordon!

Watchmen mini-review

District 9 (almost-haiku review)

The post Xmas/birthday loot report

Sermon: Why you (and I) are almost certainly greedy

I got yer Christmas music right here

Sherman, set the Wayback Machine

The best sermon on money I've ever heard

A few cartoons from my childhood

Keller on absolute truth

Walter's CrossFit workout

Live Healthy: Catching up

My incredible Iowa game recap!

Columbia Wave

Tim Keller's 'Counterfeit Gods'

Great Vikings game. Disappointing end.

Live Healthy: Getting back to it

The Power of the Gospel (through Tim Keller)

Five little links

Live Healthy: The hardest thing?

Coming around on Obama's Nobel

Live Healthy: Do diets work?

Live Healthy 10% at a time

Live Healthy: Greed for food

Perfect living healthy day!

9/28 Football thoughts

Live Healthy: Feeling blah

Drinking Just as Good as Yoga

Live Healthy: It's looking like a beautiful day and more on Weigh Down

9/21 NFL thoughts